


Skyrim: Dark Firewood

by StubbornAzzWhole



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Dungeons & Dragons, Dungeons and Dragons, I love Skyrim so much, M/M, and my best friend of 7 years, no one asked for this, no one but me, so here we go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-16 07:55:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21504454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StubbornAzzWhole/pseuds/StubbornAzzWhole
Summary: Kerev Ovu is a dark elf seeking traveling market adventure with this childhood friend, the high elf Hondil. But when the two get separated by a dragon attack of all things, Kerev starts a different kind of adventure. And when he meets the wood elf Faendall, he starts believing that maybe, just maybe, all this distruction and thrill was meant to be.
Relationships: Faendall/Original Male character
Comments: 26
Kudos: 14





	1. From Helgen to Riverwood

Kerev awoke with a start, the sun blotching his vision. He hissed a small bit and let his eyes adjust, fading from black to see the trees surrounding him clearly as they passed by in the cart. He sat up amongst the various goods and wood carvings in the making that he and his friend had made, pulling his hair back and starting to tie it up.

"You're finally awake."

The voice of the high elf made Kerev perk up, shuffling his legs under the blankets and poking his head out of the small tarp roof of his makeshift shelter.

Hondil was smiling lazily, gently holding the reigns of their horse and keeping a soft eye on the road. He slowly turned to face Kerev, skin near glowing in the sun's light.

"You missed it, we've crossed into Skyrim. This is the start of a new life, brother." The high elf's voice was low and soft, but held just enough emotion to express the pure joy and excitement that buzzed through his bones.

Kerev smacked his teeth and scowled at Hondil, the gesture holding next to no weight. He crawled out of the back of their cart and sat next to Hondil, dragging his bow and arrows behind him.

Kerev bumped Hondil hard with an elbow, though the high elf seemed unbothered.

"You should've woken me up. What if someone tried to steal from us?" Kerev kept a careful eye out for anyone who might want to go for their cart, ready to protect what they owned.

Hondil kept his mouth closed around a deep, low chuckle. He rolled his shoulders back and lightly patted Kerev in the shoulder. The force made the smaller elf jolt forward.

"Kerev, you've done nothing but protect me and lose sleep. You deserved a nice rest."

Kerev rolled his eyes but didn't argue, merely glancing at Hondil's blind right eye. The wound was ugly, jagged, and yet Hondil still wore a crooked smile each and every day.

The cart rolled on and on, the sun rising high. When Kerev calmed down his stiff patrol of the roads, he began to scribble in a journal. It was worn from use over the years, the pages yellowish and curling up. Kerev only had a few pages left, but he didn't seem to notice.

'We're on the road to Skyrim--wait, no, I suppose we've been in Skyrim for quite some time. Either way, Hondil didn't let me see when we crossed the border. Tonight I'll let him sleep, and I won't wake him up. See how HE likes sleeping the day away, while I get to buy and sell our wares! It'll be such fun, I can't wait to see the look on his face.'

Kerev waited for the ink to dry before closing the book with a SNAP. He stuffed it in his shirt and looked around at the approaching walls of Helgen, holding his knees and kicking his feet.

Helgen itself wasn't too special for either elf, yet both felt like everything and everyone was a sight to behold. Skyrim was new, Skyrim could be fun. Skyrim could be home.

As Kerev thought of where they could set up, maybe even stay a bit longer than planned, a loud booming voice made his spine go rigid.

"Halt!"

Hondil straightened his back, glancing over at Kerev, his supposed protector. He bit his lip and moved his head away, eyes trained on the younger elf.

"Archers!!"

Kerev flinched as he felt Hondil's hand grip his wrist, stopping him from drawing his bowstring back. He shook a bit and slowly put the arrow away.

Hondil made sure most of his body hid the theif's corpse as it hit the stone road. He stopped the cart and watched, now noticing the large group of Stormcloaks standing beside the chopping block.

He was unable to do anything but glare, none too upset at the idea of biggoted followers of a tyrant meeting their end. He sighed and urged the horses on, wanting to avoid seeing any real bloodshed. The horses were a bit nervous, stomping around before moving forward.

Kerev pretended to find the fibers of his pants interesting, picking at them. As he took a breath and looked up at the clear sky, there was a roar.

Everything went silent.

Some brushed it off.

Some went back inside.

Kerev looked at Hondil, gripping his bow. Hondil silently moved to place a hand over his brother's, face and body still calm. An eyebrow raised as he heard the voice of a general, calling for a wood elf to come to the chopping block.

A shadow passed over the elves, making Kerev jolt. He looked up and all the breath was sucked out of him. Hondil immediately pulled him into a protective embrace.

Alduin landed with a harsh thump upon the watchtower, wings digging into stone. It shouted with a gruff, booming roar, making Kerev wince. The dragon looked up and shouted again, blasting Kerev and Hondil off their cart. The cart itself split into many pieces, and Hondil came down on one of them with a harsh snap.

Hondil coughed as he tried to suck in air, Kerev already rolling off him. The younger dark elf scrambled to his feet and grabbed Hondil's arm, trying to yank him up.

"Hondil, Hondil, we have to run!" He cried, watching Alduin liftoff with a few beats of his wings.

Alduin began screeching fire down onto the people, burning homes and sending many to Sovantguarde. Hondil was eventually pulled into his feet, wasting no time. He held tight onto Kerev and ran as fast as he could, anywhere he was able. Being near a foot and a half shorter than the high elf, Kerev stumbled and clung for dear life.

Buildings were crashing down all around them, shaking the ground. Kerev felt panicked, his palms starting to sweat. He could feel his fingers slip, grip starting to fade. He sucked in a breath and got ready to yell for Hondil to slow, then he was struck.

A Stormcloak Nord barreled into the two, forcing eachother's hands apart. Kerev yelped and held his hand, more startled than hurt. Hondil yelled for Kerev, skidding to a stop. A wood elf came between Kerev's line of sight and his brother, the dark elf panicking even more. He was just as tall as Kerev himself, with dark hair and near glowing eyes.

"You, come on, it's not safe!" The wood elf demanded, grabbing Kerev's shirt with his bound hands and tugging him towards the Stormcloak Nord.

Kerev could barely sputter out a protest, deciding to close his eyes and breathe. He and the wood elf dissapeared into an imperial keep, closing the door and leaving Hondil to circle the streets.

Kerev stumbled and tripped, knees slamming into the ground. He could barely hear, ears filling up with high pitched whining and static. He looked up and to the side, seeing the infamous Jarl Ulfric beside him. He swallowed and took his time standing up, ignoring the banter of the Stormcloaks around him. He looked up the tower of the keep, seeing his spry little kidnapper hopping up each step, hands still tightly bound.

"Where's Hondil," he breathed out, barely a whisper. He wasn't even aknowleged.

There was a crash and a scream as the dragon burst through the wall, screeching fourth a wave of flames. Kerev flinched and watched the scene play out, the heat seeming to ground him. The dragon left, flying off with a mighty roar.

Before Kerev could stop breathing, his legs moved forward. He climbed up the stairs, watching the bound wood elf leap straight out the window. Surely it was safe. Surely there was something other than ground below the crumbling stone wall.

He was wrong.

Kerev desperately glanced around, seeing the shrieking and howling elf ahead of him leap over beds and freefall through floors. He shook his head and backed up, running his fingers through his hair.

A hand grabbed his shoulder, stopping him from backing up into a rather harsh fall. The Nord pulled Kerev back to safety, a bit shaken himself.

"Be careful! Go on, jump." He gestured out towards the burning building beside them.

"Yeah, um." Kerev looked at the flames and then back at the blonde man.

"No."

There was a pained, frustrated growl behind Kerev. Before he knew it, there were hands on his back and he was being thrusted out the window, screaming as he fell.

"Damn Elf!" A female Stormcloak barked, shaking her hands as she jumped to the burning inn. She wanted to push him again.

Kerev thankfully landed on a small wooden cart filled with cabbages, breaking his fall somewhat. The wood splintered and caved in around the Dark Elf, but it was coverage.

Kerev coughed and curled up, terrified out of his mind. He crawled under the bigger half of the cart and laid as still as possible. His hands were shaking, his lungs refused to suck in air properly, and he was alone.

He stayed put until all he could hear was the crackling of the fires.

He stood slowly, carefully. He pushed the broken cart up with him, setting it out of the way. He looked around the now abandoned town, one step at a time.

It was barren, it was burnt, it was a nightmare.

"Hon...Hondil?" He asked, voice small and shakey.

The wind whistled, rustling up the young Elf's dirty clothes. But there was no one around to respond.

"H...Hondil? Hondil, I'm here," he called out, louder this time.

Kerev eventually found a path with minimal debris and followed it. He looked around some more, terrified to find the body of his dear childhood friend. He couldn't remember how they met, but the day they became brothers was one of his fonder memories.

"Kerrie," he told him, "You're strong. Smart. You'll protect me, right?"

Kerev remembered how small he was compared to the High Elf. How much younger. And yet, despite the height he had on Kerev, Hondil lacked the thing that made trouble avoid the small Dark Elf. Recklessness.

"I'll protect you," he had promised. "I'll make sure you're never ever ever hurt or alone ever!"

He could see Hondil's big, slow, tired smile. Even in his youth. The way he tilted his head and held out his hand.

"Like a big brother?"

He missed seeing that smile.

"Like the best brother!"

He needed to find Hondil.

Kerev flinched as the loud growl of a wolf broke him out of his trance. He sucked in a breath and pulled out his bow, drawing the string back and stilling his shaking hands.

The wolf barked and snarled, running up to Kerev with wreckless abandon. The elf simply took a deep breath, relaxing as he let go. The wolf yelped and turned to run in a different direction, arrow jutting out of its shoulder.

Kerev got some fire back in his eyes and gave chase, loading up with another arrow. He leapt over rocks and slid around corners, winding around plants along a river. He jumped up onto a rock and drew his string back, sucking in and holding his breath. He aimed, time seeming to slow down as he shot one last time.

The arrow left the bow, shooting through the wind with a swift sound. It struck the wolf between the shoulder blades, sinking in and slicing through a vital artery. The wolf let out one final yelp, tumbling forward and rolling right into the clear waters of the river.

Kerev stood up and stretched, knowing his arrows were unretrievable. He continued along the path, feet aching and knees begging him to sit down and rest.

He shook his head and puffed up his chest, rolling his shoulders back. He leapt off the top of a rock, rolling a few times before standing. He immediately regretted it, pain shooting up his spine.

"By the Gods, I need a bed." He hissed at himself, pressing a hand into his back.

He continued on the cobblestone path, looking up at the arch welcoming him to Riverwood. He could hear an old woman drone on about a dragon and her being right, along with her son apologizing rather snarkily.

Kerev paused, glancing around at the small town. He gulped, realizing he had the overflow money. The last time he counted, there was barely 20 septums. Would he even be able to rent a room? Would he have to barter for food?

Kerev felt his breathing pick up, not wanting to sink to the lowly depths of a common theif. He lifted his head back up, hearing a friendly, soft voice.

"Ah, brother! It's nice to see another Elf so far from home."


	2. Be Kind to Thy Neighbor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kerev wakes up in Riverwood. There's a few things he needs to do before he sets off in search of his brother.

"Ah, brother!"

The voice was sweet and chipper, making Kerev's core spark with hope.

"It's nice to see another Elf so far from home."

The spark snuffed itself out.

Kerev turned his head, seeing a rather short wood elf standing atop a bridge. He had blonde hair done up in a tight ponytail, dull eyes full of life, and a kind welcoming smile on his face. He held the stack of firewood like it weighed nothing, and Kerev found himself sizing the stranger up. Whoever he was, he could never hope to be Hondil.

Kerev made a face and scoffed, starting to walk through the town. His shoulders slumped and his left leg started dragging behind him ever so slightly. He could feel his arms go limp and become jelly, just about ready to fall into another cart of cabbages and scream.

Faendall paused, watching the strange new elf limp away. He took in Kerev's state fully, realizing his torn up and burnt clothes were once fine and distinguished garments. Too fancy for his own taste, but it seemed to fit the Dark Elf.

Faendall set his wood aside and slowly followed Kerev. Kerev noticed and did his best to look angry.

"Are you alright?" Faendall asked. "Where did you come from?"

"I'm fine."

Kerev felt his knee hit a cart of vegetables, muscles constricting and quickly releasing. He decided to let his legs give out, getting a face full of cabbages once more. He let out a pained and powerful groan, barely bothered by Faendall's hand on his back.

"Hey. Let's get you to the inn," Faendall insisted.

Kerev let out one last hiss of a breath before nodding, struggling to get his feet under him. He let Faendall hoist one of his arms over his shoulders, near forcing the Dark Elf to his feet.

Faendall was unencumbured, practically dragging Kerev down the street. Faendall didn't seem to mind the few people who stared, having lived in Riverwood long enough to know Nords liked to stare at shiny new things.

Faendall began to climb up the stairs with Kerev, pulling him up one step at a time. The door to the inn swung open, and a young bardic Nord started to saunter out. He stopped with a jolt, looking Kerev and Faendall up and down.

"Sven," Faendall said, voice sharp and a tad harsh. "Hold the door open, will you?"

Sven scoffed and took a step back, puffing out his chest. He met Kerev's eyes as the Dark Elf slowly tilted his head up to try and see how many steps there were. Sven seemed to soften, seeing the burns and soot littering his neck, chest and cheeks.

"What kind of bard would I be if I didn't?" Sven got out, cocky and proud. He held the door open with flare, keeping his chin up and his eyes on Kerev.

Faendall nodded and huffed, heaving Kerev into the inn. It wasn't too busy, boasting two customers standing beside a table full of bread and wine. A high elf and a drunken Nord beggar.

As Kerev was brought past the two, he perked up, realizing Faendall was trying to talk to him. He coughed and tilted his head.

"Hm?" He questioned, throat starting to sting.

Faendall smiled, tilting his head to mimic Kerev. They were standing in front of a room, a tall woman unlocking it and opening the door.

"I asked your name."

Kerev blinked and nodded, unsure as to why it was suddenly so hard to breathe. He coughed and nodded, voice raspy as an Argonian's.

"Ovu. Kerev Ovu." He got out.

"I'm Faendall. You're from Marrowind?"

Faendall carefully lowered Kerev onto the bed. He hissed and tried not to lie down, wanting to sit up. Faendall didn't seem to mind.

"Actually, no. I'm from Elsweyr."

"Elsewhere? That's a fancy way to dodge a question, friend." Faendall remained patient, taking a seat in a chair beside the bed. Kerev shook his head, wincing at the soreness of his neck.

"No, no. Elsweyr. It's a dessert. Most everyone there is a Kajiit." He explained, closing his eyes and letting his chin fall to his chest.

Faendall nodded, relaxing in his seat. He crossed his legs a bit tight, looking Kerev over.

"And you came from Helgen? The dragon attack?"

Kerev nodded slowly. Another spark lit up inside him and he looked at Faendall. There was a puppydog look to his eyes.

"How did you know?"

"A few people have passed through here, running from it. News travels fast in Skyrim."

Kerev stood up fast, only to stumble and fall forward. He was caught by Faendall as he spoke, fast.

"People--what kind of people? Anymore elves? Any high elves? With honey hair?" Kerev's throat started to close from the excitement, making him squeak.

"Hey, hey, calm down there friend," Faendall said, hushed.

He placed his hands from Kerev's shoulders to his sides. He led Kerev back to the bed and laid him down. Kerev couldn't help but feel homesick. He hadn't been tucked in since he was a child. He quickly relaxed as his body demanded he sleep away his pain.

"Get some rest, friend. I'll pay for your room." Faendall promised, patting some soot out of Kerev's hair.

Kerev just nodded, closing his eyes and falling into a deep pit of dreamless sleep.

* * * * *

Kerev awoke coughing, curling up on his side. He felt dirty, thirsty, and all too cold. He sat up and quickly scanned the room.

He almost couldn't believe any of the dragon attack happened. Which gods were against him and Hondil? Dragons couldn't be real.

Kerev searched his person for his things, greatful Faendall didn't take away his side pouch. He counted his gold and pulled out his journal.

'There was a dragon. It nearly killed me. A crazy Nord dragged me away and tossed me out of a tower into a cart. I have 16 septums and I don't know where Hondil is. I need to find him. Today.'

Kerev waited for the ink to dry before closing his journal and putting away what little gold he had. He tried to stretch away his sore muscles and walked out of the inn room. The inn was much less lively, only having Sven the bard playing a song on his lute.

He made eye contact with the Nord before swinging the door open, hoping not to catch the eye of the innkeep. Sven didn't stop him.

The sun was starting to rise over the mountains, the clouds covering most of the rays. Kerev could see the sparkle on the river, letting himself relax. He walked over to the water, keeping his eyes on the sky.

He passed beside the mill, ignoring the shouting of Sven's mother. He walked down towards the bridge, making sure he had a place to put his things. He yawned as he got undressed, keeping on his undergarments. He piled his things up on the shore and walked into the stream.

Kerev sank down until his mouth was covered by the water, letting the cold river shock his sore muscles. His burns began to feel relieved, and Kerev smiled. He closed his eyes and did his best to wash up.

He managed to scrub away the soot from his face and chest, dipping underwater to wet his hair. He ran his fingers along his scalp hard, trying to get as clean as possible. He emerged fast so he could whip his hair back and run his hands through the mass to make sure the dirt wouldn't become a clump of mud.

Kerev mindlessly rubbed from his chest down to his naval, freezing in place as he heard a loud crashing of wood on stone. He whipped his head around, managing to make eye contact with none other than Faendall, the wood elf.

Faendall scrambled to keep picking up his dropped pile of wood, face a bit flushed. He hurried up and skittered off, obviously embarrassed. Kerev couldn't help but snort, going back to washing up.

Kerev managed to get nice and clean, crawling up to a stone. He sat down and started basking in the sun, hoping to dry off as fast as possible before getting dressed.

Kerev did his absolute best to put on a smile and be happy. He wanted to enjoy the no doubt beautiful day that was peeking over the horizon. But he couldn't help himself, and he let his mind wander towards Hondil.

Surely he went through this small town. Where would he go? Kerev could see a roadsign post on the other side of the bridge. Three ways to go. He had to figure out which way led to more people, a big city. He'd have a better chance of finding more people from Helgen. A better chance of finding Hondil.

Kerev pulled on his burned clothes when he was dry, ignoring the rather large holes by his ribs. He couldn't care less about his clothes. Hondil would fix them when they reunited.

He decided to wander back into Riverwood, making his way to the traders. Surely, they'd have something to eat. As Kerev started to pull the door open, he overheard Sven muttering. He stood still and listened as the bard walked by.

"Stupid elf...never should've given him the letter...stick to their own kind..."

Kerev slowly shut the door to the traders and started following Sven back to his home. The bard continued to mutter to himself, obviously upset. As Sven stepped into his wooden porch, Kerev spoke up.

"Hello. Sven, was it?"

Sven turned and crossed his arms. His frown seemed to lessen in intensity. He nodded, starting to sway his hips from side to side.

"And you're the elf that stumbled into Riverwood for a cabbage bed."

His tone was jovial, almost teasing. Kerev was unsure about his stance on the Nord, but nodded and chuckled anyway.

"That's me. Kerev. Kerev Ovu." Kerev rolled his shoulders back and started imitating Sven's hip sway. "I couldn't help but overhear you. You mentioned an elf, with a letter?"

Sven's expression seemed to darken, jaw locking up. He scoffed and nodded, crossing his arms tighter.

"You don't know the half of it."

"Tell me."

Sven paused for only a moment, nodding and venting in the way only bards can.

"There's a woman in Riverwood, Camilla. My heart belongs to her, and I want nothing more than to have her heart be mine in turn. But that Faendall keeps stepping in where he doesn't belong. I wrote a letter, yes? Pretending to be Faendall. I told this high elf from Helgen to give it to Camilla. For a laugh. A joke. Then he takes not ten steps and shows the letter to Faendall before walking off without a word!"

Kerev nodded along, taking deep breaths to remain as calm as possible. Sven ran a hand through his own hair, gripping it. Kerev cleared his throat, keeping his voice level.

"Was this elf by chance tall? With hair colored like honey?" He asked, just managing to keep his composure.

Sven nodded, brushing himself off for no apparent reason.

"Never dropped his Kajiit-like smile neither. That elf was nothing but trouble."

Kerev nodded, certain the elf in question was Hondil. He gave his side a pat and shrugged, smile warm and friendly.

"Well, it seems you still have a chance with Camilla. I have an idea."

Sven laughed, shaking his head. "What do you suggest?"

"A love poem. All about her. Not to sing, but to read. Just for her to obsess over day and night. I can be your courier, so her mysterious potential lover looks evermore romantic."

Sven jolted a little, genuinely surprised. His frown faded into a smile, and he nodded.

"Yes...yes, you're absolutely right!"

Without another word, Sven bolted into his house. Kerev smiled to himself, resisting the urge to giggle. He turned on his heel and waited for Sven, just about rocking from excitement.

When Sven burst back outside, the ink was still wet. He handed the parchment to Kerev, smirk on his face.

"This should have Camilla's heart in a vicegrip," he proclaimed.

Kerev looked the poem over, nodding. It was very nicely written, if not a bit arrogant. Very bard-like. To Kerev's delight, it was unsigned.

"To the traders I go."

Kerev started towards the traders once more, Sven following close behind. Kerev opened the door and winked at Sven, who winked back. The elf left Sven outside, closing the door behind him.

Inside, the trader shack was warm and inviting. A beautiful woman in a red dress was arguing with her brother over bread. The brother in question stopped polishing a golden claw in favor of smiling at Kerev.

"Ah, welcome! What can I help you with, stranger?"

Kerev smiled and nodded at the man.

"I'm looking for a Camilla?" He replied, voice soft and sweet.

Camilla stood up, interest peaked.

"I'm Camilla. What's this about?"

Kerev walked over and handed her the parchment, treating it like a plate of gold trinkets.

"A poem for you. From a man named Faendall."


	3. Journey to Falkreath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kerev decides to set off to Falkreath! All he needs now
> 
> Is to become someone's follower.

"A poem for you."

Kerev could barely hold back his excitement. Joy and the sweet release of vengeance burned through his core.

"From a man named Faendall."

Kerev handed over the note, much to Camilla's excitement. He watched as the imperial read over the note, seemingly falling in love with every word written.

Kerev bowed his head and started backing away. He stopped when his back was on the door. He waved at Camilla, polite but arrogant.

"I'll be off then. If there's anything I can help you with-"

"Wait!" Camilla cut Kerev off, who was more than prepared for it.

"Please, tell Faendall I appreciate his gift. And...that I'd be more than willing to speak more often."

Kerev felt a bit of a twinge, suddenly anxious about Sven barging in and finding out. His cheeks burned and his chest felt like a kitten was scraping his ribs out. He shook it off easily enough with a smile and a nod.

"Don't worry. I will."

Kerev opened the door and walked out, spine straight. He closed the door without turning and faced Sven. The Nord was standing behind the very cabbage cart the Dunmer fell into the day before, nervously rocking on his heels. Kerev let his mouth curl into a tight curled catlike smirk, raising a hand as it sported an upright thumb.

Sven seemed to relax, sucking in a breath and puffing up his chest. He tossed the elf a bag of septums, walking off. Kerev caught it with no issue, keeping his thumb upright. Sven gave a cocky wave, not looking back.

"Thanks, elf. Feel free to stop by the inn if you want to keep being useful."

As the nord walked off, Kerev's smirk immediately turned into a snarl, his upright thumb turning into a much more rude gesture aimed at the bard. Kerev scoffed and started grumbling to himself, pouring the gold into his palm. He perked up in surprise, counting at least 30 septums. He quickly added it to his side pouch, planning to count it properly when he made it to a larger settlement.

Kerev managed to look up just before he tripped on a wooden bridge, not realizing how small Riverwood really was. He sighed and stepped up, walking across the water and making it to the mill. Surely he could find Faendall still chopping wood. He deserved at least a warning about the little switch he pulled with the poem.

He found the Bosmer rather quickly, carrying some logs to a chopping trunk. Kerev stayed light of his feet, skittering up behind Faendall. He gave him a pat on the shoulder, calm. Faendall yelped and nearly dropped his axe, turning to face Kerev.

"Oh, it's you," He said, sounding a bit flustered. His face flushed a bit.

Kerev laughed and took a step back, wondering what was amiss. He ran a hand through his hair and pulled his hands behind his back.

"So, I think I should let you know before I head out. Camilla, that woman the bard has feelings for?"

Faendall paused, setting his axe down. He nodded and folded his arms, face scrunching up in disapproval. Kerev rubbed under his chin and tried not to giggle.

"Well, Sven wrote her a love poem and gave it to me to deliver. I told her it was from you."

Kerev watched in glee as Faendall's expression went from dismissal, to anger, to confusion, to happiness. The wood elf seemed to radiate sunlight, grabbing one of Kerev's elbows. Kerev flinched hard, feeling his arm get yanked in front of him. Faendall took hold of the hand he acquired, squeezing it tight.

"Divine smiles upon you, friend!" Faendall declared, stars in his eyes. "These few days have been the luckiest of my life. Please, if you need anything from me, just ask."

Kerev stayed silent, blinking. He looked from his captured hand to Faendall, unsure what this gesture meant. He slowly put his other hand on top of the Bosmer's, squeezing Faendall back. Hondil would've.

"Thank you again," Faendall pulled a hand back, digging in his pocket. "Here, it's what I've been saving from working at the mill."

Faendall pressed a sizable coin pouch into Kerev's palms and headed off, walking rather fast across the bridge back to the main street of Riverwood. Kerev stayed still, simply watching Faendall fade out of sight. He turned back to the coin pouch, freezing in place as he saw what had to be near 100 septums. He felt an intense surge of both joy and a fear of being mugged rush up his spine. He curled up and looked around, protectively shielding his new coin. He was brought back to the vast desserts of home, pouring his stash of wealth into a single pouch.

Kerev walked back to the river where he bathed, sitting under the bridge. He pulled out his journal and stared at it, silently studying the blank page. He sighed and leaned back into the stone, feeling the rushing water chill his feet.

He turned to an old page and skimmed it, letting himself smile.

'Hondil said we're going to head to Skyrim. I'll admit it's way too cold to survive, but some people have come back exceedingly wealthy. Maybe I can smuggle some Skooma into the land, since they have such a stressful war going on- --Hondil said we can't risk being caught selling Skooma in Skyrim. What else is there for those soldiers to do between finding women to bed and dying?We'll hit "Helgen" and establish ourselves and our wares. We're allowed in the cities, and hopefully Hondil being an Altmer will gain us favor! After that we'll head to Falkreath. Hondil mentioned it being safe there.'

Kerev slammed his journal shut and held it tight. Falkreath. Why didn't he realize it before? Kerev scrambled out from under the bridge, giddy and sure of himself. He stood up and started jogging, immediately slamming into a drunken beggar.

"Watch it!" He barked, taking a swing at the Dunmer.

Kerev yiped and ducked out of the way. He pushed the beggar over and hissed at him, huffing and heading for the traders before the sun finished setting. He opened the door with new vigor, walking right up to a happy merchant. Camilla was behind the counter now, smiling at her new acquaintance.

"Hello. I'm surprised you're still here." She greeted, happy to see Kerev.

"I'm heading out tonight, actually." Kerev laid his folded arms and chest on the counter, a tactic his friend Khayla taught him. Though he had no plans to swipe anything off Camilla's counter.

"Will you be back? You've made great friends with Faendall." She started shifting some things around, sweeping some gold farther from the Dunmer with the back of her hand.

"Maybe," Kerev shrugged, starting to reach for his own gold. "But, if you have one, I'd like to replace my shirt."

"Oh, you don't have to pay, friend."

Kerev perked up and turned to face Faendall, stepping down the last of the stairs. Kerev kept his hand in his pouch, looking Faendall up and down.

"Excuse me?" Kerev asked, a bit tense.

Faendall paused, smiling sweetly at his friend. He gave his own chest a pat, gesturing.

"I have some extra clothes. I can spare a tunic or two."

Kerev didn't respond, closing his pouch and gently folding his arms. Faendall paused too, rolling his shoulders.

"I know it's not as fancy-"

"Nonono, I'm fine, it's uhm." Kerev cut Faendall off frantically, realizing he'd upset him. He tried to sift through his brain, trying to think of how to word his feelings. He managed to clear his throat, turning his whole body to face the Bosmer.

"This one's just...not used to such kindness."

Faendall snickered a bit, shaking his head a bit. He started walking closer to Kerev. Kerev stayed relaxed.

"You really aren't from Skyrim, friend." He waved, motioning for Kerev to follow. "Come on. My house isn't too far."

Kerev simply swallowed down some suspicion and followed. He ignored Camilla's farewell and stayed far enough from Faendall to be able to see a betrayal coming.

It was a short walk, just as the wood elf promised, but Kerev couldn't help but let his brain wander. He kept thinking about Camilla. Sven. How Faendall seemed to like Camilla as much as the lovesick bard. How Faendall made him feel calm. Happy. Warm. How Faendall owed him a favor.

Faendall opened up his home and started to speak, Kerev almost immediately cutting him off.

"You're an archer, right?"

Faendall paused, still holding his door open. "Uhm. Yes. Did you want training?"

"No, no. I just, well," Kerev sought through his list of lies, wishing he had his brother. "I-I'm not so good at protecting myself. I'm a merchant, a caravan really, and without Hondil, I don't think I can make it to Falkreath alive."

Kerev felt his insides twist, not liking how dramatic he portrayed his situation. Faendall's expression only confirmed that Kerev's fib was taken hook line and sinker. Faendall ushered Kerev inside, pity dripping out of him.

"Hondil, was that the person you were asking about in the inn?"

"Yes. He's my older brother and protector. We ran our shop together at home, and decided to seek more wealth here, in Skyrim."

"Even with the war? Why not stay home?" Faendall handed over an off-white tunic, starting to silently pack a bag.

"Well, we...didn't know about the war."

"I suppose word doesn't travel too well when you're on the road."

Kerev nodded, starting to undress. Faendall paused, staring a bit. Kerev didn't seem to notice, changing out of his burned clothing without a care. He fit nicely into Faendall's shirt, smiling at his friend.

"So, will you come with me?"

Faendall shook off his flush and relaxed. He nodded, calmly slinging his pack over his shoulders. Kerev relaxed, fighting the urge to snatch a few stray arrows on the Bosmer's table.

"Well then, let's head off to Falkreath. I'll meet you by the bridge."

Kerev left, closing the door behind him. He walked down the street to the inn, wanting to buy some rations for the road. Halfway up the stairs, Kerev felt a harsh push as he lurched forward into the wood balcony. His chin met the solid surface with a thud, and Kerev almost immediately rolled off the stairs and onto the dirt ground.

Kerev stayed on his back, managing to take out his bow and pulling back a glass arrow. Kerev faced the drunken beggar from before, significantly more drunk and near foaming at the mouth. His speech was too slurred for Kerev to make out, but he was certain he heard "elf" quite a few times. 

He let the arrow go and hit the nord right in the shoulder, making him howl in pain and fall backwards down the steps. He curled up and stayed down, the arrow having shattered.

Kerev stood up and spat to his side, huffing. He glared at the beggar and walked over him to climb the exact same set of stairs. He kept his head held high, letting the Nord whine and writhe. 

"Kindness is a virtue," He said, loud so the beggar could hear him.

He made it into the inn and went straight for the counter, a bit worn from the day's activities. He caught the eye of Sven and tried hard to keep from doing it again. Sven stopped playing the lute and stared Kerev down. When the elf didn't respond, instead purchasing dried meats and drink, Sven decided to walk up to him instead.

"Elf," Sven barked, obviously peeved.

Kerev stayed silent, simply opening a bottle of mead and starting to sip at it. Sven slammed his hand down on the counter and shifted so he was right beside the Dunmer.

"I'm talking to you, milk drinker!"

Kerev shrugged, still sipping his mead. Sven nearly growled, scratching the wood of the bar. He spat on Kerev, getting even angrier as the elf simply wiped it off his cheek.

"I know what you did with Camilla. You thought it would be just a hoot to mess with me, didn't you? All you elves are just the same!"

Kerev easily ignored the nord, waiting until he could leave. Sven tossing wine bottles off the counter didn't even make him flinch. He corked back up his drink, playing with the bottle. Sven grabbed Kerev by the shirt, making the dark elf freeze up. He was turned and shoved, back pressed into the wood. The force made him shove aside and break even more wine bottles. Kerev glared at Sven as the Nord brought his face closer, prepared to get tossed around a bit before the Bard calmed down.

"I can't believe we let you into our town! You're no better than that High Elf bastard!"

Kerev immediately grabbed Sven's arms, digging his fingers into him. He hissed like a feral cat and forced Sven closer, slamming their foreheads together. Everyone in the inn cleared a good 6 feet, surrounding the fight and picking sides. Kerev held onto Sven tight and started kicking him hard in the gut. The bard had a few tricks up his sleeve, reaching for Kerev's ears and tugging hard. Kerev could feel them tear, deciding to lurch forward. He sent Sven to the ground, knocking the air out of him.

Kerev straddled his foe, starting to punch and scratch Sven's face. He pounded past the Nord's attempts to block, going until he was unconscious. He sucked in a breath and reached to pull out a dagger, but stopped as an arrow whizzed by and stuck beside Sven's bloodied face. Kerev let his hands drop, staring at the steel arrow. 

Faendall walked over and helped Kerev up, all but dragging the dark elf out of the inn. Kerev kept his head down, too ashamed to make eye contact. He waited for Faendall to lecture him. Faendall pulled Kerev a bit closer, rubbing his side in comfort. The Bosmer cleared his throat and smiled at the back of Kerev's head.

"Well, I'd say it's a good day to travel."


	4. Fort Greymoor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Skyrim map is pretty expansive

"Well,"

Kerev could feel shame and guilt bubble up his spine. He had just beaten a man unconscious with the end goal of ending his life. Surely Faendall would get him out of Riverwood and dump him onto the road to abandon.

"I'd say it's a good day to travel."

Kerev slowly looked up at Faendall, surprised. Their eyes met and neither could seem to tear away.

"... you're ignoring what I did?"

Kerev's voice was soft, but he kept it audible. He started to try and slide out of Faendall's grip, but the Bosmer kept holding his weight.

"No. But knowing Sven, he's the one who started it." Faendall was matter-of-fact, confidence making his voice clear.

Kerev stood up straight, still allowing the shorter mer to hold some of his weight. Slowly but surely the pain was fading away. He eyed a split in the path, letting Faendall lead him to the right.

"He was," Kerev mumbled, starting to wipe off his upper lip. "Nords don't like beastfolk."

"You think yourself a beast, friend?"

Kerev nodded, a bit timid as he looked away. The confusion on Faendall's face was the motivation he needed to watch the road. A meadery was up ahead, the roof spike poking through the sightline of brush. 

"Were you called that a lot?" 

Faendall's question made Kerev look at him and tilt his head. He pursed his lips and tried to search Faendall's face for an ulterior motive. He didn't find one.

"...What if I was?"

Faendall shrugged, maintaining his friendly demeanor. Kerev looked away as his friend talked, starting to pull away.

"Then I'd say whoever called you names was rather rude."

Faendall let Kerev pull away fully, keeping a good distance close to the Dunmer. He started counting his steps, wondering why a self proclaimed helpless merchant was carrying a quiver and three daggers. He kept those questions to himself.

"Were you raised by Khajiit?"

Kerev was confused by the soft curiosity of Faendall's voice. The elders around him always told him only others like him would take interest. Others would reject him outright. It was something he had to get used to.

"In a way," Kerev replied. "My parents had a few words about it, but it's hard to avoid certain people when you grow up in the center of their homeland."

"So your parents were Dunmer?"

"One was. But they weren't around much. It was more just me, Hondil, and our merchant friends." Kerev started to play with his tunic, kicking a few stones out of his way.

"What was it like? Being raised in Elsweyr?" 

Kerev turned and saw pure curiosity in Faendall's eyes. No judgement was present, not a single drop of any negative emotion. Kerev could feel his face heat up, almost confronted by the blunt kindness of his new friend. He sputtered out air for a bit, clearing his throat and watching a hold guard slowly walk the path.

"This--...I-I've...known nothing else." the faintest hint of a hiss was on the Dunmer's tongue, one he seemed to actively suppress.

Faendall smiled at Kerev and gave his shoulder a soft shove. He began to plot a way to hear his companion's natural accent.

"Well, at least then we're both out of our element in this Nord land."

Kerev smiled to himself and nodded. He gave his cheeks a rub and shivered from the cold gust of river wind. He was glad Faendall came along.

* * * * *

'We're on the road to Falkreath-wherever that is. This elf is nothing like what I was expecting. the road even less so. I miss our cart. Walking hurts. I can't sleep. We found a cliff, more of a troll's cave. I can see the sun rise. You were right, Hondil. It looks different than home. I'll find you, Hondil. I'll find you.'

Kerev set aside his journal to let it dry. He was already nearing the last page, he could feel it. He planned to fill it with notes on buying and selling. Maybe anything funny he found, or a person he met. 

Kerev looked over at Faendall, hearing him shift in his sleep. The Bosmer began to rouse, mumbling and groaning as he sat up. His hair was untied, falling over his face. He smacked his lips and pulled his hair back behind his face, crossing his legs and yawning. Kerev couldn't help but chuckle.

"Sleep well?" He asked.

Faendall huffed out a bit of a laugh, starting to tie his hair back up. It looked soft. He managed to get his hair up within a few seconds, obviously having had lots of practice. Kerev rocked a bit, unable to stop watching the little mannerisms his friend had.

"I slept as well as I can on the ground." Faendall smiled as he looked back at Kerev. He pointed at him.

"Cold?"

Kerev curled up a bit tighter, covered in a cocoon of the new fur pelts the two acquired. He snuggled a bit closer in on himself, embarrassed. He looked back towards the sunrise, smiling at it.

"Skyrim's different than home. The nights are harsher." He explained.

Faendall nodded in agreement, looking around at the little cave they were hunkered in. He pulled out his map and held it against the wall, stabbing the corners with steel arrows to hold it up. He looked at it, thinking.

Kerev glanced at the map before standing, shedding the furs. He shivered and muffled his instinctual noise of slight pain. He shook it off and walked out into the elements. He looked over at the path of wilderness they passed by, a giant's camp just in sight on the horizon. He stretched and started making count of his things. He felt his arms tremble and gave pause.

When was the last time he had Moonsugar?

Either way, He had none. Kerev turned to Faendall, no urgency. He let his smile stretch as he watched the Bosmer start packing his map away.

"How close are we to a town?" He was peppy, wanting to get some insight on where his brother could be.

"Still quite a bit. We're not in the Falkreath hold quite yet. We just need to follow the south road." 

Faendall returned the smile, putting his satchel on. The two nodded at each other and packed up camp, setting off. They continued down the road, seeking the sights and watching the clouds that were forming. A wolf or two would skulk by, growling. Kerev managed to suppress his urge to shoot them down, letting Faendall take care of them. His fingers twitched with a need to protect his follower, though now he was the follower to Faendall he supposed.

Eventually they came across a fort. It looked disheveled, abandoned. Wooden spikes littered the front, as if they had been set up. They were worn and unkempt. The fort was most certainty abandoned. Kerev perked up in curiosity, walking towards it off the road.

Faendall paused, watching Kerev for a few seconds before following. He sped up to match his pace, glancing around at the fort. He could feel something grip his core and weigh him down. The feeling of being watched didn't seem to go away.

"What are you doing?" he asked, pulling out his bow.

Kerev shrugged, pulling out a simple dagger of absorption. He twirled it and stopped, turning around to face his friend.

"Hondil and I used to check out ruins, buried by sand. Maybe he'd stop here. I want to check it out." He explained.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

As Kerev opened his mouth to reply, an iron arrow sank into his left shoulder. He screeched in pain but didn't fall, simply turning around to see a group of bandits shooting at them. Faendall became panicked and jumped into action, loading an arrow and shooting back. 

There were five bandits, some running down to get at the two elves. Kerev let all his restraints drop, reaching back and breaking the arrow off at the head. He pulled his own bow and drew back, starting to shoot. He started walking towards the fort, shooting down the bandit that got him.

Faendall started to fall back and pull out a dagger as a bandit came closer to him. He froze as a glass arrow struck the woman dead. He looked over towards where the arrow came from, watching Kerev. 

The Dunmer's face was twisted in absolute concentration, like nothing Faendall was used to seeing. He shot with efficiency and tact, loading his bow at a rapid rate. His breathing was steady and he was able to seamlessly switch to his dagger. He ran straight for the last bandit, leaping atop him and slashing his throat as he tried fruitlessly to flee.

Kerev stood over the body as he let it drop, standing still. He was hyper-vigilant, eyes darting around as he scanned the area. Faendall slowly put his weapons away, creeping to the side of his friend. He watched the Dunmer relax and sheathe his blade, reaching for his still bleeding shoulder.

"Are you...alright?" Faendall asked, cautious.

Kerev jolted at the voice, starting to act a bit more physically hurt. He turned and nodded at his friend, realizing what he had just done. He reached back a bit further, wincing as he moved the arrowhead.

"I could use some help," His voice was quiet and unconfident.

Faendall nodded and walked over, no longer wary. He apologized and yanked the arrowhead out, nodding along in comfort as Kerev started to rattle out curses. He let the iron drop to the ground and dissapear into the grass.

"Let's go."

Kerev shook his head and knelt down. He started sifting through the pockets of the body below him. Faendall watched, taking a few steps back.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Trying to find a key." Kerev straightened his back and looked around, pointing at a different body. "See if that one has one on her."

Faendall made a noise of disgust, crossing his arms and almost glaring down at Kerev. He shook his head, voice firm.

"Can't do that, sorry."

Kerev groaned quietly, standing up and going over to do it himself. Faendall tried not to stare as he watched his companion actively search dead bandits, tucking his hands into his armpits. 

After quite a bit of this, he finally walked up to Kerev. He could see the Dunmer was troubled, but was much more invested in getting him to stop. 

"What is it you're doing this for, anyway?" He questioned.

"This is a fort."

A pause.

"But why are you looting corpses?"

"Forts have prisons," Was all Kerev could reply, standing and heading for the courtyard.

"I don't see why that would interest us. You're hurt, it's best for us to stay on the road to the Falkreath hold."

Kerev looked at Faendall, who was taken aback by the desperation in the other man's eyes. He pushed on a door, it catching on a latch. He kept eye contact as he started to try and get the door open.

"We came across this place on the road. There's bandits. Hondil would do exactly as I did, if he's on his way to Falkreath then he came here."

The door finally opened with a loud creak. It slammed into the stone wall and Kerev held it open.

"And I know he's alive, he has to be. They'd lock him up."

Faendall winced in pain at Kerev's speech. The Dunmer had devolved from a well spoken mer into a ranting panic, a low rumble to his tone of voice. He almost seemed to hiss as he sucked in breaths. 

The Bosmer grabbed Kerev by the shoulders, holding him firmly in place. He started taking in deep breaths, silently encouraging his friend to do the same.

"Kerev, calm down. I'm right here, listen to me."

The commanding voice seemed to ground Kerev, and he started to breathe normally. He tried to lean back out of Faendall's grip. He met resistance and stopped, staring down at his feet.

"I know you miss your brother. I miss my family sometimes too, but you can't just charge into danger. Let's make sure Hondil has someone to meet up with, hm?"

The two were silent for a long while, standing. The wind rustled the grass and birds chirped as the Mer remained idle. 

Eventually, Kerev looked up into Faendall's eyes. He frowned.

"I still have to be sure."

Faendall sucked in a breath and nodded. He let Kerev go, folding his arms. 

"I'll be right behind you."

Kerev smiled and nodded a thanks. He kept his head turned behind him as he walked into the prison.

"Thank you, frie-" Kerev immediately cut himself off with a scream as a bear trap snapped closed around his ankle.


	5. From a Fort to a Failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chomp chomp
> 
> Scrape scrape

"Thank you, frie-"

Taking just one step caused excruciating pain to shoot straight up Kerev's leg. His ankle was near crushed in the metal bear trap. Kerev screeched in pain and curled up, grabbing just above where the trap hugged him tight.

"By the Nine--!"

"Kerev!"

Faendall shouted, kneeling down beside the Dunmer. He started checking the trap, seeing if he could pull it apart. The trap thankfully had no teeth, but the skin that was caught in it was already darkening. Faendall bit his lip as he heard the telltale sounds of bandits stomping above them. Surely the scream more than alerted them.

Kerev hissed and started to pry the trap open, not too successful. He looked at Faendall and nodded at the interior of the prison.

"I'll get--I'll fix it, don't let them get near us," He got out.

Faendall opened his mouth to protest, but paused. Kerev winced in obvious pain, not stopping his escape attempt. Faendall nodded and stood up, pulling out his bow and drawing back an arrow. He held it still and waited, holding in a breath. The second the first bandit turned the corner, he let go.

The fight started, three bandits running towards the two Mer. One fell back, starting to shoot at Kerev. The arrows just missed the Dunmer, who was nearly out of the boobytrap. Faendall moved to stand in front of Kerev, managing to take down two bandits. The last runner came close and started hacking and slashing at Faendall with a waraxe, showing no mercy. Faendall put aside his bow to switch to a dagger, starting to fight back. An arrow hit him in the shoulder, bouncing off after it tore part of his skin.

Faendall flinched as hands gripped his shoulders. He was almost violently yanked back, his feet leaving the ground. Kerev placed the wood elf behind him, seamlessly pulling out a dagger of Inferno. With one swift movement he sank the blade into the gut of the bandit, nearly lifting him. Instantly the Nord burst into flames, screaming in absolute agony. Kerev pulled the dagger out and stood still. The Nord dropped to the ground, dead before he hit the stone.

The archer and Kerev made eye contact, and the bandit dropped her bow and started to run. Kerev limped once and winced, leaning against the wall. Faendall tried to get to Kerev and help him stand, but the Dunmer started to walk despite his injury. Faendall watched as Kerev started cursing, slowly chasing the surviving bandit. 

After a few seconds of getting used to the pain Kerev started running, leaving Faendall in the dust. The Bosmer followed to the best of his abilities, turning a corner just in time to see Kerev set the Nord ablaze with a simple swipe across the back. Kerev stared at the body for a bit, just breathing.

As Faendall started to get uncomfortable about his friend's new emotionless state, he heard a retch. 

"By the gods-" Kerev choked out.

He turned and fell to his knees, curling up and trying to keep his food in his stomach. He felt a chill settle deep in his spine, leaning his head against a wall. Faendall felt relief, putting away his weapons and kneeling down beside Kerev. He started to rub his back, letting the Dunmer switch to leaning completely on him.

"Are you alright?" Faendall asked.

Kerev shuddered and put the dagger in his back pocket. It was in its own sheathe, seemingly unused for a long while.

"I forgot it does that," He admitted, very obviously shaken.

Faendall embraced Kerev, who remained curled up. The two sat there for a bit, Kerev's stomach flipping. The Bosmer gave Kerev's back a pat and started to stand, Kerev standing with him. He winced as he put weight on his leg, but the pain soon subsided.

"Are you sure you can walk?"

Kerev looked at Faendall and nodded, taking hold of his hands and moving them away. Kerev stood alone, slowly stretching. He finally managed to smile at Faendall. He started looking around, seeing a bunch of iron cages. There was a whole hall, darkened. Kerev gave Faendall's arm a pat.

"Hondil. He's tall. Taller than other Altmer." He started walking down the hall of cages, studying the bodies in the cages. "He'd be here."

Faendall said nothing, walking along with Kerev. He studied the cages too, thankfully not seeing any Mer. He tried to keep his own spirits up, to comfort his companion. Kerev didn't grow desprate like Faendall expected, doing his best to examine each prisoner. All seem to have been robbed of valuables, some wearing no clothing. 

Kerev abruptly stopped at one of the cages, staring. There was a very curled up body, seemingly asleep. His hair was long and golden, almost honey. He himself was long, tall. Most certainly an elf.

Faendall watched Kerev stuff a lockpick into the door and slam it broken with his palm. The door swung open with it, the pieces of the pick falling to the floor. Kerev ran over and kneeled over the sleeping Altmer, grabbing his arm and shaking. Faendall stayed behind, hope sparking in his chest. Had they found Hondil?

"Hondil? Hondil, it's me," Kerev started, trying to roll the Altmer over.

The elf grumbled and pulled his hair out of his face, revealing that he was not, in fact, Hondil. The hair wasn't honey colored, it was merely light pink and in desperate need of a wash. His face was covered in purple warpaint, eyes completely black. He had no scars in sight. Kerev started to slowly stand up, watching the High elf glare at him. The stranger started to growl, guttural. 

"I'm--I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

Kerev yelped as the stranger leapt up to his feet with amazing speed. He snarled like an animal and swiped across Kerev's face, making him scream from more fright than anything. Faendall acted, yanking Kerev out of the cage. Kerev managed to grab the door and slam it shut, Faendall holding it. The High Elf slammed his body into the door and kept spitting hissing and snarling, glaring at the two with a hunger.

"He's not here, let's go go go!" Kerev shouted, covering his wound with a hand.

Faendall all but dragged Kerev out of the prison, sprinting. Kerev managed to keep up, moving to cover his ears as an animalistic howl all but shook the building. The two burst out into the daylight, heading straight for the road.

The two struggled to register where they were going, slowing at some points but keeping one direction. They ran past brush and dips in the land, and eventually they couldn't run anymore. The two all but collapsed onto the ground, coughing and wheezing. Kerev rolled onto his back and stared at the sky, everything burning. Faendall coughed and choked a bit, rolling onto his side.

He rolled onto his side and hacked up a bit. He looked at Kerev, much worse for wear. He gave Kerev a pat on the shoulder, digging through his things. He pulled out a healing potion and shook Kerev, getting the Dunmer to look at him. Kerev was still wheezing, a silent question in his eyes. Faendall held up the vial.

"Drink," He managed to get out.

Kerev was confused and didn't move to take the vial. He watched Faendall sit up, the Bosmer wiping his face off. He uncorked the potion and held it out to offer it.

Kerev propped himself up on his elbows and looked up at his friend, panting. He tilted his head and paused before he understood. He struggled to sit up fully, Faendall helping him up halfway. He took the vial from Faendall and drank it, swallowing it all in just a few seconds. He felt his leg and shoulder heal up, but his face gash was still burning. He flinched as Faendall's fingers brushed against where the gash used to be.

"All healed," He noted.

Kerev stayed silent, taking his friend's word for it. The two continued to sit and catch their breaths. When they finally did, they looked at one another. They promptly burst into laughter. The two laid back down and relaxed, letting the laughter get rid of all their nervous energy. Eventually they both turned on their sides, facing one another.

"That was exciting," Faendall admitted, smiling.

Kerev nodded. He rolled back onto his spine, letting the hard ground straighten it.

"I guess he didn't find that fort." 

The two decided to keep resting, finding comfort in their shared space. Faendall's smile seemed to fade, the gears turning in his head. He shook his head and rolled onto his stomach, arms acting as a pillow.

"You're good with a bow."

Kerev swallowed, outed. He didn't say anything, humming in agreement and looking away from Faendall. He felt his face get hot and his chest get floaty. Faendall turned his head so he could see his friend.

"I'm glad you're not hurt. It's good you brought me along."

Kerev smiled very softly to himself. He nodded. The conversation ended, and he pulled out his journal, choosing to sift through the pages again for comfort.

'I can't believe what Mother ---------The past few days all boiled over. Dro'nari said she'd be my Dro' forever. Parents didn't like that. They never like that. I don't care what they think anymore. Dro'nari and S'aiq are giving us coin to do what we want. Hondil will be happy. He has to be. Not sure if I can go back inside. I'll go find Dro'nari. She'll give warm soups.'

Kerev giggled at the thought of his grandmother. He couldn't wait to see her again.

At high noon, the two had made it past Broken fang Cave, not going near it despite Faendall's curiosity. Kerev swung his arms and started walking backwards, happy with his lot in life. Despite how much his face hurt.

"So, Sven." He stated.

"What about Sven?" Faendall asked, never losing his smile.

"You don't seem to like him."

Faendall scoffed, scooping up a stone from the road. He tossed it hard, hitting a tree.

"Why should I? He's a bard, so he says. Occasionally he finds time to do his job over at the mill back home. Thinks his ballads and sonnets are going to convince Camilla Valerius to marry him. As if she would say 'yes.' An intelligent, beautiful woman like her wouldn't fall for that nonsense." Faendall paused, scooping up another stone.

"...I hope."

Kerev nodded, an odd feeling stirring in his gut. He twirled in a circle and started idly picking flowers. He would tug them off the stems of bushes and let them fall through his fingers.

"Why is it you like Camilla so much?" He asked, slowing his pace to walk side by side with Faendall.

"Well, there's beauty here unmatched in all of Skyrim, to be sure. She's the most beautiful woman in Riverwood. Why wouldn't I go after her?"

"Is she nice to be around?"

"She's beautiful."

A small pause from both of them began, Faendall obviously lost in thought. Kerev just looked at the sky, slightly fearful of dragons. He decided to distract himself.

"Do you pursue her like Sven attempts to?" He asked.

"Of course I do. I want to marry her."

Kerev made a face, turning his head to hide it.

"Because of just her beauty?"

"Yes."

Kerev stopped trying to hide his disapproval, scoffing.

"That seems a bit shallow." Kerev admitted.

Faendall paused, blinking. He shook his head and pulled out an arrow, playing with it. Kerev watched out of the corner of his eye.

"I have a right to like beautiful things." He mumbled.

Kerev nodded and hummed.

"And you have a right to treat people like things."

Faendall stopped dead in his tracks, staring at Kerev. He was sputtering, at a loss for words. Kerev kept walking at the same pace, unbothered. He quickly started gaining space between the two, hands moving behind his back. He simply turned his head to look back at his follower. He slowed down to speak, Elsweyr accent thick on his tongue.

"Dro'asha always taught that one must respect and honor a partner before they are pursued."

Faendall stayed silent, staring at Kerev. The Dunmer finally came to a stop at the top of a small hill, leaning against a tree. He examined his fingernails, waiting for Faendall to process his insults. He never lost his smirk, mirroring one of a Khajiit thief exactly. Feandall didn't move from his spot, causing Kerev to snort and shout at him.

"I wonder, do you have not humor, or do you rather need to stand rigid as a sundial at high noon?"

Faendall's shock melted into confusion, before he burst out laughing. He had his hands on his knees as he struggled to keep composure, his belly squeezing hard on every inhale. Kerev caught the laughter, his own spidery and nearly a cackle. He slid down the tree, and they were sure even the Greybeards of high Hrothgar could hear their giggles. 

Faendall gathered up himself and walked over to Kerev, their spat leaving no hard feelings. The two started down the road again, passing by some giants herding some mammoths. Kerev was enraptured, not paying much attention to the road. Faendall saw the Thalmor approach, dragging along a reluctant Redguard.

Faendall grabbed Kerev's shoulder and made the both of them slow down. Kerev looked at Faendall, confused. The Bosmer nodded towards the swiftly approaching group. Kerev looked on, immediately stiffening up.

"Thalmor Embassy. It's best if we just ignore them."

Kerev nodded, remembering the rumors of the Thalmor coming to raid homes and plant amulets of illegal gods in pockets. He pulled out a dagger and kept it at his side, alert.There were three Altmer, one in black fancy empire robes and the other two in full sets of elven armor. The Redguard was in rags. They approached quickly and the armored Thalmor immediately looked ready to attack. The head Thalmor slowed to a stop, walking so he was in front of Kerev and Faendall. He pursed his lips and held his head high.

"You are interrupting official Thalmor business. Step aside." His voice was royal, the narcissism louder than the insult.

Faendall nodded and moved to back away and put distance between himself and the embassy members. Kerev didn't, rolling his shoulders back casually.

"What's the Thalmor doing in Skyrim?"

Kerev's voice was level and steady. He was putting on a rather thick Dunmer accent, almost satirical. He smirked a bit and started imitating the Thalmor in front of him, folding his arms a mere second after he did.

"We're making sure your Emperor wasn't lying to his elven masters when he agreed the Empire would give up false gods and foolish beliefs. Now go away."

The Justicar attempted to walk past Kerev, head still high. Kerev blatantly stepped in front of the taller elf, smirk only growing. He put his hands on his hips, dagger in view. The other Thalmor froze and got ready for the word to attack.

"What is it?" The Justicar barked, fists clenching.

"Does every Thalmor think of himself so highly?"

Faendall was panicking now, very slowly creeping his arm back to get at his bow. He was silently begging the gods to make Kerev shut up and back away. He watched as the Justicar sucked in a breath through his nose, face darkening in anger.

"That we Mer are superior to men is an established fact. For example, take this belief in Talos. The 'ninth' divine. Pathetic. You are a fellow Mer, you should know this fact."

The Justicar paused, suddenly studying Kerev's features. His eyebrows raised, only seeming to get angrier. Kerev's smirk just about stretched ear to ear.

"Perhaps there is something you'd like to confess?" The high elf had a read, hands already starting to glow with fire spells.

Kerev leaned closer to the Thalmor, standing on his toes to creep his face as close as possible. He opened his mouth, words spilling out in a whisper. His full, thick, Elsweyr accent saying more than his words ever could.

"This one brings coin, not trouble. Unless you are hitting the Skooma, this is obvious."

The angered shouting of the Thalmor almost drowned out the sound of a fireball leveling the road.


	6. Sleeping Trees and Half-Moon Pitstops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you  
> Are you  
> Coming to the tree?

"This one brings coin, not trouble."

Kerev could see the rage in the High Elf's eyes. He let his accent lay on thick, certain it was enough to set the Thalmor off all by itself. He leaned to the side, all the weight shifting to his right foot. He got ready to jump, seeing the Altmer's fingers uncurl around the licking flames.

"Unless you are hitting the Skooma, this is obvious."

There was an angered roar as the Justicar let loose a large ball of fire, intending to hit Kerev anywhere on his person. Kerev managed to see it coming, dodging the brunt of the attack. He was unable to completely miss getting hit, falling flat on his back. He scrambled to his feet and turned to run, planning to head around the Thalmor trio and avoid getting too hurt. 

Faendall had his bow drawn, shooting at the Altmer as he tried to backpedal and follow his companion. He felt Kerev's hand grab his bicep, and he found himself getting dragged away. The Thalmor gave chase, shooting off spells and drawing elven blades. Faendall ended up turning around and facing the back of Kerev's head.

"I see why you needed a babysitter," He barked out, wincing as he took a fireball to the back.

Kerev turned around, a bit offended.

"Babysitter?!"

Faendall snorted, seeing Kerev's face twist in childlike anger. Time seemed to both pass too fast and much too slowly as the two outran their angry assailants. Both seemed to fight off laughter in favor of breathing as they sprinted. Kerev started slowing down much faster than Faendall, the Bosmer having to slow down so he could keep up.

"Are you alright?" Faendall asked, ducking out of the way of a spell.

Kerev just coughed and tried to keep up. His lungs were burning, and his face started to tingle. The pain from the healed gash on his face finally melted into his skin, leaving him undistracted in his suffering. Faendall tried to get one of Kerev's arms over him. He failed as the ground seemed to open up under the two. Kerev shrieked and Faendall yelped, the two falling straight into thick purple water.

Faendall thought fast, grabbing Kerev by the face and covering his mouth. He moved back and pressed them both back against the lip of the pond they fell into, hiding. He saw a tree in the center of the pond, almost glowing.

Kerev struggled to breathe but didn't fight, holding Faendall's wrist tight. He managed to start catching his breath despite the blockage his friend's hand caused. The water sloshed around almost sluggishly. Faendall listened intently, hearing a telltale grunt of an angered giant. There were a few slams of a club hitting the dirt, the earth trembling with every strike. 

Kerev slowly pried Faendall's hand off his mouth, trying to wander out of his grip. He managed to do so, Faendall following close behind him. They waded out just enough to look over the lip of the pond. Kerev squinted, watching the Thalmor hop around in an attempt to take down the giant looming over them. 

Faendall glanced around, seeing the other giant not too far off. It seemed disinterested at least. Faendall stood up fully, the water sliding off him like watered down jelly. It only came to his navel, thankfully not staining his tunic. He turned to Kerev, seeing the Thalmor trio get chased towards the horizon.

"Kerev," His voice was soft, alert. 

Kerev turned, tilting his head. He stood up, the water coming to the lowest part of his hips and rear. He tried to squeegee the thick purple liquid off his arms with his hands, not too successful.

"Yeah?"

"There's a tree here. Think we should check it out?" Faendall asked.

Kerev looked at the tree, confused. He seemed to perk up, looking at the water they were standing in. He smiled and started walking towards the tree.

"I think I know what this is," He chimed, making it to the tree.

"What is it?" Faendall followed, finding it a bit hard to walk through the sparkling water.

"A Hist," Kerev gently placed a hand on the bark, feeling it almost squish beneath his fingers. "A living tree. This one's sleeping. Dro'nari used to tell me about her. The Sleeping tree."

Kerev seemed completely enamored, walking around the tree. He reached a spigot, wondering if he had anything to hold sap in. He smirked when he saw a not so well hidden box full of empty bottles with their own corks.

Faendall stayed where he was, watching. He leaned to one side so he could properly see Kerev without the tree trunk blocking his way.

"I'm sure." He paused a bit. "This Dro'nari. Are they related to Dro'asha?"

Kerev silently started gathering the Sleeping Tree sap. He'd cork them up and stuff them in his pouch. He could sell them for a high price, or keep them stocked up. He'd need a bit more than some sap and furs to be a proper merchant.

"No, why?"

Faendall tapped his chin, thinking. He worked out a few equations in his head, then shrugged.

"Both of their names start with 'Dro-'. Is it common?" He asked, starting to wade towards shore.

Kerev giggled, shaking his head. He gave the Sleeping Tree gentle pets as he finished up, thinking of how to thank the tree.

"Dro' is a prefix. Every Khajiit has one. Well, I guess some might not." He explained.

Faendall hoisted himself up out of the glowing pond, sitting with his legs still in the water. He kicked his feet a bit. Somehow the insides of his shoes remained dry.

"I've met a few Caravans while I was hunting. None of the merchants had the name 'Dro-'."

Kerev finished up and decided to hold a hand against the tree. He breathed deeply and tried to let his energy speak for him, a thanks to the Hist for the sap.

"Well, all prefixes mean something, Faendall. 'Dro-' means they're grandparents. Elders."

Faendall hummed in thought. He looked up towards the sky. The clouds blocked the sun. Thankfully they didn't seem too dark or heavy.

"There's lots of them, then? Prefixes?" He asked, pulling his legs out of the pond.

"Yes. Some were only male or female, but we've moved past that." Kerev smiled at his friend and started heading for shore. "They all reflect who you are. 'Dar-' marks you a thief, 'Do-' is for warrior, 'Daro-' marks you lithe of tongue, 'La-' means you...well..."

Kerev seemed to pause, climbing on shore. He stood tall, looking off towards the road they ran from.

"...You have a way with...people."

Faendall squinted a bit, questioning. He opened his mouth to speak, but Kerev cut him off. the Dunmer all but jumped to turn to his friend, a finger in the air.

"There's others! Like 'Ja-' and 'Ji-' mean you're a young adult, unmarried, 'S-' is a regular adult, 'Ma-' means you're a child."

Faendall nodded, deciding not to press for answers yet. he smiled and stood up, ringing out some of his tunic.

"I suppose you'd be a 'Daro-', then." He commented, coy.

Kerev's spine stiffened, as if he were frozen solid. He found it hard to swallow, emotions overloading his brain. There was more than a double meaning behind his friend's words, and that knowledge burned a mark of shame onto his cheeks. When he spoke it was quiet, reserved. But still clear, still Kerev. The little liar.

"I suppose...though...that is to say...I..." He cleared his throat, stretching on a smile and starting to walk back toward the road. "I'd've picked 'Ji-'. Makes me marriageable."

Faendall chuckled at the quip, following Kerev. he quickly matched the Dunmer's pace, the two walking side by side. Faendall swallowed a bit when Kerev started pulling his tunic up, managing to turn his head elsewhere. 

Kerev took the clothing off, wringing out plenty of water. The ground it hit seemed to lighten a bit, soaking up the purple liquid near instantly. Kerev slung the tunic over his shoulders, letting a hand graze his burns. He'd likely scar, he knew that much was true.

Even so, the future looked bright. And despite his growing weakness, Kerev was determined to walk the final stretch to Falkreath. To Hondil. He smiled brightly, half tempted to take Faendall's hand in his and drag him along even faster.

Faendall looked at Kerev's pouch, clinking with Sleeping Tree sap. He pointed at it, choosing staring at Kerev's items was better than staring at his burned bare chest.

"What did you get from the tree?" He asked.

Kerev perked up, pulling out a large purple bottle. It was nice an corked up, shiny and new. He waggled it a bit to show off.

"Sleeping Tree sap. I'll show you what it does when we find a proper place to rest."

"Sounds...good." 

Faendall offered Kerev a smile. It was happily returned.

* * * * *

'Hondil found out about my name. I didn't mind Mother knowing, she doesn't care to understand anything of ------- of the Khajiit. But Hondil...I'm. I'm the simple one. The cute one. The one he should feel comfortable being beside. But now. Now I can't be "Ma'kerrie" anymore.'

Kerev considered tearing out the page. It was drying without smears, yes, but was that really enough to keep it? After some thought, he decided to simply block it out when it was dry. He had forgotten to during his last journal purge.

"What's got you so angry there, friend?" Faendall asked, cleaning off his iron dagger.

Kerev carefully shut his journal and put it away, sighing. He rubbed his cheeks and looked at Faendall. He shared a soft smile.

"I've only two pages left. Found a few pages I've wasted." He explained.

"We should get you another one," Faendall suggested, looking at the lake beside them.

"Maybe." Kerev mumbled, balling up his tunic to put away.

The two kept on, Kerev's shins starting to ache. All of his bones were aching, now that he was thinking about it. They ached bad. The only thing distracting him from it was how hot he felt. His cheeks felt flush, his forehead would slowly drip sweat, and his chest was a bit strained.

He managed to ignore it, keeping away from too rough terrain. Eventually Faendall managed to look over at Kerev and maintain eye contact.

"So, Kerev." He started, catching the Dunmer's attention.

"Hm?"

"I know it's a bit late, but. Well. Back at the fort. That Altmer in the cell."

Kerev stayed quiet, letting his lips lazily get dragged down into a frown. He fought the urge to rub his face, wiping off the sweat from his brow. He remembered the man, the howl, the claws. Something he was all too familiar with. And he had no right to blame the Lycanthrope for the wound.

"I guess I was just...desperate for it to be Hondil."

Faendall nodded. He reached back and tightened his ponytail. 

"That's not what I meant."

Kerev decided the stones marking the side of the road were much more interesting than any form of eye contact. He started counting them.

"What did you mean?"

"He got you good. Right on the face. You kept rubbing it after it healed. Does it still hurt?"

Kerev gave pause, rubbing his cheek. He was surprised to find his face hot. He started gently patting around the rest of his face, finding it equally heated.

"Not really, no."

Kerev flinched and stopped walking, unsure of how to react to his friend's hand on his forehead. He glanced at Faendall, pursing his lips. Faendall's face was twisted in concentration and concern. 

Kerev felt himself stiffen up as his friend turned him, and he found himself face to face with the Bosmer. Faendall pushed Kerev's hair back fully behind his ears. He sucked in his lip, squinting as he scanned the Dunmer's face. When he was satisfied, he nodded and moved his hands to kerev's shoulders.

"I think you caught something," He explained, mumbling.

Kerev perked up, anxiety bubbling up his spine. He shook his head, sliding the tunic off his shoulders. He started wringing it mindlessly, needing to do something with his hands.

He smirked and slightly shook his head.

"Nah."

Kerev started walking, watching the sky. The sun was starting to set, a lovely bright pink. They would need to stop and camp soon.

"Kerev, wait!"

Kerev didn't even turn, hearing Faendall jogging up behind him. He slung the tunic around a bit before stuffing it in with the rest of his items. He glanced over his shoulder, offering Faendall a fake smile and a head tilt.

"Kerev, I'm serious. I'm not sure how it works in the dessert, but here in Skyrim, you don't want to let anything get too bad." He warned, genuine concern in his voice.

Kerev relaxed, folding his arms. He shrugged, choosing to ignore a slowly creeping need to sneeze. He let his fake smile fall, noticing a building ahead of their path. He pointed at it, hoping to distract.

"Is that a house?"

Faendall huffed, relenting. He started cooking up ways to get Kerev some sort of medical attention, looking down the path. He looked at the small stone cottage, then at the large wood mill hard at work behind it.

"Looks like a mill. Let's check it out."


	7. Half-Moon Mill - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 1

"Looks like a mill."

The sawmill ahead was hard at work, the saw loud and the logs banging against each other. There was an active fire going in the cottage, smoke billowing out of the chimney. Kerev could hear someone chopping firewood with vigor.

"Let's check it out."

Kerev let Faendall lead him down the path, just a step behind him. It didn't take long, the two turning the corner of the cottage to see the sunset shimmer along the lake's horizon. Faendall perked up at seeing two Nords shuffling about. He waved and started walking over, kerev close behind.

"Hello over there!"

The woman looked up from her wood chopping, turning and making eye contact. A warm smile spread across her lips, and she stood up tall. She set her axe aside.

"Guests, oh my!"

Kerev gave pause at her words, slowing down as the two met her. She had blonde hair and orange eyes. They gleamed in what little sunlight was left. Kerev grabbed Faendall by the sleeve, gripping the cloth.

"Guests?" Faendall questioned, still cheery and warm.

"Oh, well, me and Hern house many travelers on the way in and out of Falkreath." She explained. 

The woman turned her gaze to Kerev, inhaling a long breath through her nose. Kerev stiffened up, the hair standing up on the back of his neck. He huffed in and out once, his fever suddenly much hotter. He didn't know what she was exactly, but he knew the general category.

"Are you alright? You look a bit...ill."

Kerev shook his head, flinching at the sound of armored boots stomping up the road. He glanced over, shoulders bunched up. The woman rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips.

"Aye, those guards. They're always storming about. Nosy pests."

Faendall hummed, content. He got an arm behind Kerev and rubbed his back. It didn't help the tension in his shoulders. Faendall fought off a frown, figuring Kerev was still in denial of his sickness.

Both Mer looked over at the Nord walking over, two small logs in hand. He smiled, eyes orange with a glint of fire in them. Hern smiled, tilting his head at Kerev.

"Oh my, guests! Did you two need a place to lay for the night?"

Faendall almost immediately nodded, feeling Kerev pull his arm a bit close. He gave Hern a polite gesture, a mini bow with a wave for flair.

"My friend here is sick. But he won't admit it." Faendall revealed.

Kerev took a deep breath and leaned against his shorter friend, starting to get a bit dizzy. The two Nords smiled and stood close together. They touched shoulders, offering sympathetic looks.

"Hert here can get him set up in the bed." Hern separated himself from his wife, holding out his arms to welcome the Mer. "Please, make yourselves at home."

Faendall opened his mouth to thank Hern, but he found himself having to catch Kerev's weight. Hert immediately helped, surprisingly strong for a skinny Nord woman. Kerev nearly hissed at her, biting his lip. She took almost all his weight and started helping Faendall walk towards the cottage.

"I'm sorry-" Faendall started, getting cut off by Hert's giggle.

"We've helped many sick travelers," She explained. "These woods are pretty treacherous to adventurers not so used to these woods."

"Thank you."

Kerev found it harder and harder to hold his tongue, hissing out breaths through his nose. It was unfortunately noisy due to his sickness.

Hert opened up their cottage, warm from the fire and with a table full of food. The bed was large, a bit too large for just two people. It was almost luxury for Kerev, who refused to let himself relax as he was set down on the fur blankets. He stayed sitting up, closing his eyes as Faendall held onto his shoulder.

"Are you alright?"

Kerev opened his eyes slowly, finally letting go of his bottom lip. He looked at Faendall, his friend, his companion, backlit by a crackling fire. Feelings began to flood his chest, a bushel of kittens were starting to claw their way out of his rib-cage. He didn't understand it, and he curled in on himself in response, hugging his stomach tight.

Faendall's breath hitched, and he knelt down to be closer to his distressed companion. He started looking Kerev over, silently praying to any divine willing to listen for help. Hert hummed behind Faendall, happily mixing a bowl of ground herbs. She raised her eyebrows but kept her smile, pity on her face.

"It looks like Bone Break fever."

Faendall felt his stomach drop, starting to force a still silent Kerev to lay down. Kerev just whined, weakly fighting against the Bosmer. He lost the battle, back hitting the bed with a hushed thud.

"Do you have anything to help?" Feandall asked, standing up.

Hert shook her head and kept grinding up her ingredients into an even finer powder. She nodded towards the door.

"Hern knows what herbs I'd need. Why don't you go help him hunt and gather what I need? I'll make sure your companion gets fed." She offered, voice gentle and kind.

Faendall was reluctant, placing a hand on Kerev's forehead. The Dunmer's skin was just about on fire. Kerev looked up at Faendall, a desperation in his voice. His eyes watered a bit, and the Bosmer winced.

"I'll be back soon." he promised, standing up and heading out the door.

Kerev whimpered and rolled onto his side, glancing at his all too cheerful host. Hert smiled a bit too sweetly and walked over to Kerev, tapping her utensil against her stone bowl. She knelt down and held the bowl close to her face, tipping her head.

"You're a grumpy guy," She cooed.

'I know what you are,' He wanted to say. 'You won't make it to sunrise.'

But all Kerev could do was cough. He clenched his teeth as Hert began to tuck him in, folding some amazingly soft furs over him. She gave his arm a pat.

"Just breathe. Be a good boy."

Kerev turned his head towards Hert, opening his mouth to question her. She didn't waste time, sucking in a breath and blowing into her bowl hard. The Nightshade powder formed a cloud, forming and lingering right in Kerev's face.

The Dunmer tried to sit up, Hert holding him down with a single arm. The powder stung as it got caught in his nostrils, the drowsy effects bubbling up and fogging up his brain. Kerev coughed and choked a bit, unable to stop breathing the nightshade in.

Hert hummed calmly as she watched Kerev struggle and fight. Rather quickly, his attempts got weaker and his breathing got slower. As he got dragged into the deep dark void of sleep, Kerev managed to let out a snarl and a bark. Both were quiet, and both melted seamlessly into the soft breathing of a forever restful sleep.

Hert happily cleaned up the powder off Kerev's face, tucking him in tighter. She paused when she felt a book, fishing it out of Kerev's belongings. She held his journal gently, curious. Hert flipped through a few pages, deciding to start at the very beginning.

Hert paused, finding two pages stuck together with a crude glue. She easily separated the pages, eyes lighting up as she read them. She giggled and laid a flower petal in the crease of the journal like a bookmark. She set the journal aside and started preparing some food for her other living guest. She couldn't wait for Hern to come back home.

* * * * *

Faendall took a deep breath as he aimed, trying to find the softest part of the Mudcrab. He let the arrow go, exhaling like he saw Kerev do. The arrow sunk into the crab, making it jolt and kick its legs before death forced it to relax.

"Nice shot," Hern praised.

Faendall turned and gave Hern a curt smile and nod as thanks. He started heading towards his prize, counting his steps. The Nord followed behind, hauling a wolf carcass over his shoulder.

"So, you didn't quite answer me," Hern spoke with a low voice, almost alluring. "But what kind of animal attacked your friend?"

Faendall made it to the Mudcrab and started to gather what Hern said they needed. He kept his gaze focused on the crab meat he was cutting away.

"I actually didn't quite see it. It was loud." He offered up.

"Bone Break fever's pretty hard to get. Hard not to spot a bear."

Faendall heard doubt in Hern's voice. It was almost knowing. Faendall felt his chest hollow out a bit, only to have it be filled with an odd fear. He looked up at the moon, squinting at it through the thick clouds.

"It was dark."

Hern seemed content to leave it at that, giving a hearty laugh. He caught Faendall's eye and gestured for the Bosmer to follow him.

"We've been gone long enough, how do you feel about heading back?" He asked, already starting back towards the sawmill.

"We have everything for the potion?"

Faendall followed Hern, staying a few steps behind him. The Nord stomped around comfortable, an obvious expert on his home turf. His skin seemed to glow in the moonlight. faendall didn't let it unsettle him.

"Yes. It might take a day or two to make, but so long as your friend rests until it's done he'll be perfectly fine." Hern promised.

"Thank you."

Faendall and Hern stayed silent for the rest of the walk. Faendall couldn't help but worry about Kerev. He didn't seem one to rest.

He let himself remember the day he met the Dunmer. When he laid him down to sleep. He had gone back to the inn before bed to check up on Kerev. He frowned at the memory.

Kerev had been curled up, blanket askew. His face was twisted in pain, his jaw clenched and his lips pulled back. The Dunmer ground his teeth and took labored breaths. Occasionally Kerev would whimper and shift, tossing and turning before stiffening up and laying all too still. He didn't sleep soundly at all.

Even on the road, whenever Kerev would relax enough to start resting he would end up doing one of two things. He'd cutely snort and sit up, remaining alert and brushing it off. that, or he'd start shifting, whimpering, and near hyperventilating. Kerev was not a sound sleeper. Faendall worried he never would be.

When the two got to the cottage, the fire was still burning bright inside the cottage. Hern opened the door for Faendall, smiling at his wife. Hert was finishing up some supper, plating up grilled leeks and seared meat.

"How was the hunt?" She asked, holding up two wooden plates.

"It was wonderful," Hern assured, walking over and taking a plate. "I'll be having my dinner as I work."

Hert seemed happier at Hern's words, nodding.

"Work well, our canine friend is no match for your blade."

Faendall silently took the plate handed to him, surrounded by the laughter of the cheery Nords. He softly swallowed as the two continued, finally letting his gaze meet Kerev's sleeping body.

Faendall took a deep breath, frowning at the twisted expression on the sleeping Dunmer's face. He made his way over to Kerev, planning to sit on the floor down beside him.

"Oh, Faendall, you can sit at the table," Hert insisted, patting a spot on the bench.

Faendall lowered his head, smiling softly. He watched Hern leave, the door softly shutting.

"You're very kind. I'd prefer being here in case he wakes up, if that's okay."

Hert nodded, seemingly sullen. She kept on a smile, picking up a small basket of red vials. She put it on her hip and started making her way out the door.

"Please have a nice meal. Hern and I will be outside working if you need us."

Hert waved goodbye at Faendall and he waved back. The door shut with a click. faendall sighed deeply, sitting down. He started mindlessly eating, taking small bites of the rather delicious food.

He looked over his shoulder, hearing Kerev shift. He watched his friend grit and grind his teeth, gripping at his own face. Fighting off a nightmare. Faendall wanted nothing more than to take away all the pain.

Faendall slowly reached out, brushing the hair out of the Dunmer's face. His fever was still very present. Faendall let his hand slip down and cup Kerev's cheek.

"What's hurting you, friend?" He asked, voice little more than a whisper.

Kerev didn't rouse, simply curling up tighter. The choked whimper that escaped Kerev's lips sliced through Faendall's chest. He felt a burning need to protect his friend, to learn more about him. He wanted to see him find his brother, to watch him smile, help him finally sleep comfortably through the night.

Faendall decided to just let the feelings sit, thinking them through. He ate until his plate was cleaned of food, standing up to place the wood dish on the table. Faendall saw Kerev's dark journal on the table, barely hidden behind a wheel of cheese.

He looked over at Kerev, who was starting to shift and wiggle in his sleep. He turned to the journal, and he found himself reaching for it. Faendall thumbed the pages, slowly curling his fingers around to open the book. The journal was old. And it was big. The curl and cover of the pages showed many many years of use and love. The book could very well contain the entirety of Kerev's life.

The absolute burning temptation to read the journal was hard to fight against. Every question Faendall had about Kerev, and any question he may have going forward, they could all be answered. But as he heard the Dunmer cough and toss around in a restless sleep, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

A good friend doesn't invade where he wasn't invited. A good friend doesn't hurt their friends. Faendall took a breath and easily slid the journal back into hiding. It was easy enough to cast aside temptation when he kept Kerev in mind. It was easy to do a lot of things.

Faendall walked over to the bed, looking it over. Even with Kerev laying on it, balled up and taking quite a bit of space, there was plenty of room for him. He quietly set aside his weapons and got ready to get into bed, confident he'd have a buffer between himself and Kerev.

As he started crawling into bed, his foot hit the hard cover of a book. He gave pause and looked down, seeing a yellow cover. Faendall sat down on the bed and reached for the book, examining it with a tired eye.

The book had no title on the cover, so he opened it. The first page had 'Experimentations in the Physicalities of the Werewolf, Author - Reman Crex' printed on it. Faendall lied down on his back, using the still burning fire to light the pages. He skipped the author's message to the reader, uninterested.

The book detailed subjects that were experimented on, each of them alleged werewolves. Some were cut up alive, others burned with acid and spells both in "true form" and transformed, and some were left alone to rot in their cells. Reman seemed to be a disturbed man, and Faendall wondered how horrid these diseased beasts must have been for anyone to torture them. He sifted through a few more entries, eventually shutting the book and placing it back on the floor.

As Faendall was turned half on his side, he felt a fast shift behind him. Kerev all but slammed into his back, burying his face into Faendall's shoulders. Faendall flinched and stayed still, feeling his friend cuddle up and slot himself against the shorter elf. Faendall couldn't stop the small smile that spread across his lips.

Faendall slowly turned onto his back, gently shifting Kerev so he wouldn't get pushed away or crushed. He gave Kerev's head a pat, taking a deep breath.

"You'll be alright, friend. I promise."


	8. Half-Moon Mill - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. Life update.  
> on the 16th, my mom passed on.   
> Sorry if the next chapters seem bad. I'll clean them up eventually, maybe.

"You'll be alright, friend."

Faendall started carding his fingers through Kerev's hair. The Dunmer seemed to be deep in a nightmare. It made Faendall's heart ache.

"I promise."

Faendall paused, noticing a small red mark on Kerev's neck. He slowly peeled away the tunic, pushing the cloth down past the shoulder. He gently shifted Kerev's head so he could see, and the slumbering elf showed zero signs of waking up. He dismissed Kerev's sudden clothing as his hosts being a bit too kind.

There was a small cut on Kerev's neck, right in the crease. It looked clean, and a bit like someone had pressed a cloth into it. Possibly to stop the bleeding. Faendall frowned, leaving Kerev's shirt pulled down. Did he cut himself? 

Faendall had a sudden realization. Werewolves. The howl from the Altmer they freed, the one that attacked Kerev. He had theories, but now he was desperate for any other explanation. He placed a hand on Kerev's burning forehead, taking a calming breath.

"You're gonna be okay," Faendall assured his sleeping friend. "I won't let it take. You're going to be just fine."

Kerev stirred a bit in his sleep, snuggling closer to Faendall. His nightmare seemed to be on pause, releasing some pressure off the Bosmer's chest. He let himself nod off, a protective arm over his friend. His sleep was restless.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Darkness. Wetness.   
All that surrounded Faendall was cold darkness and falling streams of water.  
He ran, ran as fast as he could. He couldn't see what he was running from. But he could hear it.  
There was a scream to his left. An axe chop to his right.  
Screaming for help.  
Someone was screaming for help.  
There was a flash of brilliant light, magma emerging, slipping over unseen valleys. Inching closer.  
Closer.  
Closer.  
Kerev leapt out from the molten rock, hissing. Glowing orange eyes, the flicking of a demon tail, claws the size of knives.  
Faendall couldn't even pull back as the ground swallowed him whole.  
He was falling.  
Falling.  
Into the warm unknown.  
Passion burned bright, lighting the darkness he was falling into.  
The heat carried emotion, raw, unfiltered.  
The pain wrapped around him in a deathly embrace.  
He let it hold him.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Faendall slowly woke up, groaning as the dream finally slipped away. He found the source of the uncomfortable heat, hearing Kerev mumble and snore softly in his sleep. The Dunmer was completely on top of him, center of gravity curled up around his chest. Faendall wondered if this was how house cats woke up their owners.

"Kerev," Faendall wheezed out, starting to push his friend off him. "Wake up."

Kerev didn't listen, all but flopping off Faendall. He stayed asleep, curling up almost completely. He still seemed to be stuck in a bout of bad dreams. Faendall sat up, sadly gazing over his friend. He gave Kerev a pat on the head and got out of the bed. 

Faendall stretched and tied his hair up, looking over the cottage. Hert and Hern weren't anywhere to be seen, but the sounds of chopping wood let him know his hosts were awake. He tried again to rouse Kerev, gently shaking him. 

When he failed to wake his friend up, Faendall decided to grab the blankets. He laid Kerev completely straight out and tucked him in. He made sure the blankets were wrapped completely around the Dunmer, rolling him up in a tube of comfort.

Faendall stood over Kerev for a bit. He didn't want to leave his side. He waited a bit longer to pick up his things, watching the Dunmer sleep. Despite the need to toss and turn, the blanket roll kept Kerev laying relatively still. He couldn't curl up, anyway.

Faendall could feel fear grip his chest as Kerev started making noise. He huffed and whined, sounding a bit like a dog. Or a wolf. Faendall shook his head, letting the ideas roll off his back. He didn't need to think about the possibility of Kerev becoming a beast. Kerev would be fine. He'd make sure of it.

Faendall smiled softly and left the cottage, taking a deep breath. He stepped into the sunlight and looked over the sawmill. Hert and Hern were hard at work, smiles brighter and feet lighter. Faendall was grateful at least his hosts were having a good day.

"Faendall!" Hert called from the grindstone. "How did you sleep?"

Faendall walked over, admiring the steel sword Hert was sharpening. He cracked his back and rolled his shoulders back.

"I'm rested," He replied.

Hert gave a soft giggle, face scrunching up. She was all too sweet, but Faendall didn't mind it. It was nice to be around Nords that didn't spit his race at him.

"And how's our patient doing? Is he awake yet?"

Faendall felt his smile fade a bit. He reached back and tightened his hair tie, noting that he needed a wash soon.

"No, he's still sleeping." Faendall found a spot to sit on a nearby tree trunk. "Is the potion done?"

"Just about. It needs a bit to settle, but it should be ready soon. When your friend wakes up, we'll give it to him."

Faendall nodded, squashing down the fear that crawled up his spine. He looked up at the morning sky, listening to the birds chirp. He wasn't allowed to lose himself, the sound of guard boots clanking around just up the road. He looked over at a suddenly grumpy Hert, who decided to sink the freshly sharpened blade into the dirt.

Hert grumbled inaudibly about the nosy guards, cracking her knuckles. She stretched her fingers and pulled her hair back. Faendall offered her a smile.

"Do you get a lot of visitors?" He asked.

Hert smiled back, her eyes flickering with insight.

"We have guests as often as we can but there aren't a lot of travellers these days. The war keeps people off the roads."

"Do any decide to stay? To help at the mill, I mean."

Hert snorted, placing a hand over her mouth. She pulled out a dagger and started sharpening it, careful of her fingers.

"No. Other people just make things complex. Out here, Hern and I can get everything we need from the occasional traveler."

Faendall nodded, understanding. He caught the gaze of a Falkreath guard, staring at him. He perked up a bit, scanning the road.

"How close are we to the capitol?" He asked, quiet.

Hert stiffened up, glaring at the Bosmer. She softened up and averted her gaze by the time Faendall turned back to her. 

"Not too far. It's far too long for your friend to be able to take, though. The elements would claim him faster than the fever."

Faendall felt his heart sink, plans evaporating. He nodded and stood up, starting to head for the cottage. 

"I'm going to wait for my friend to wake up," He explained. 

Hert gave Faendall a nod, perfecting her blade. Faendall made it to the cottage with no issue, glancing over at the lake. He saw Hern leave the little storage shack, arms covered in blood. He froze, watching the Nord head for the river. 

Faendall forced himself to relax, looking back at the shack. He could see meat hanging from the ceiling. He himslef was a hunter, baffled by his new instance of fight or flight. He shook it off and entered the cottage, taking a deep breath.

He glanced over at his slumbering friend, letting himself smile. Kerev was still in his blanket wrap, a bit more peaceful. Faendall sat down on the bench and leaned back on the table. He let himself relax, waiting for time to pass.

* * * * *

It was sundown by the time Faendall woke up from his thoughts. They had been empty, eyes focused on the fibers of the wood that made up the wall. He could hear Hert and Hern loudly discuss dinner, the orange light of the slipping sun seeping through the door.

Faendall looked over at Kerev, who was still deep asleep. He walked over to the Dunmer, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. He started to softly shake Kerev, feeling his still high fever.

"Kerev?" Faendall whispered. "Kerev, wake up. We need to get you some water."

Kerev didn't even stir, somehow eerily still despite the pain plastered on his face. Faendall kneeled down, shaking Kerev harder. Still nothing.

"Kerev, come on. You have to get up."

Faendall took a deep breath, rolling Kerev onto his side. He started to undo the cocoon of furs, but stopped. Kerev wriggled and whimpered, hissing in his sleep. He rolled right back to where Faendall had originally tucked him in. His back arched and his hiss began to grow deeper. he pulled his lips back and clenched his teeth, the low guttural hiss now a proper growl.

Faendall stood up and stumbled back, feeling the blood drain from his face. His heart pounded, and he looked back at the door. The sunlight was nearly gone already. The moons would be out. Faendall could feel his legs begin to tremble.

Kerev stopped arching and growling, a low rumble still in his throat. Faendall held Kerev's head in his hands, desperation flooding his bones.

"Kerev, wake up!" He pleaded, needing his friend to take the cure before he succumbed. This wasn't Bone Break Fever. He knew it couldn't be.

Faendall gave up trying to wake Kerev up, running out the cottage door. He searched desperately for Hert and Hern, seeing Hern inside the slaughter shack. The Bosmer ran up to it, trying to level out his panic. He'd be no use to Kerev a bumbling mess.

Faendall made it to the window, looking in to the rather bloody mess of a shack. He quickly caught his breath, startling the Nord.

"Hern, we have to give Kerev the potion," He was shouting, almost babbling, in a pure panic. "He won't wake up, we can't wait for him to wake up anymore-!"

Faendall jolted hard when Hert squeezed his shoulder. He yiped and whipped around to face her, taking labored breaths. Hert's brow was scrunched in concern.

"What's the matter, Faendall?" She asked, soft and sweet.

"Where's the potion?" Faendall could feel his heartbeat in his neck.

"Oh, it's not quite settled yet. We just need to wait."

Faendall heard a howl in the distance, deep in the forest. He looked up at the pink and orange sky. He grit his teeth and ground them hard. Both moons could be seen, one full and one waxing. 

"He can't wait that long."

Without another word, Faendall shoved his host out of the way and sprinted for the road. Hert called out to him, but he ignored her. Falkreath wasn't far, he could make it. He'd beat down the Alchemist's door down if it meant getting his friend a cure as soon as possible.

The guards he passed all leapt out of the way, startled by how fast the Elf was running. Some shouted after him, but they were all muffled out by his heaving breaths. His body started screaming at him to stop, to slow down. He ignored all of it, driven by a burning need to get to the hold capitol. 

Somehow, he was able to keep going. He thought of Kerev, not helpless on the bed, but smiling and kicking small stones. Him walking up at the mill with good news. His snarky smirk plastered on his face as he teased Faendall about his crush. It all distracted from the stinging pain of breathing too hard and running too fast.

Within a blur, Faendall was able to make it to the Falkreath hold. He skidded to an attempted stop, bowling over a Nord. The Nord shrieked and landed, screaming something about Imperial plots and spies. Faendall didn't care.

He took hard shallow breaths as he whipped his head from side to side. He saw a glimpse of a blacksmith forge, and started running in that direction. He turned the corner and saw a redguard woman start to lock up a shop. Above her head was the unmistakable sign of an alchemy shop.

"Wait!" Faendall bellowed, out of breath.

The woman flinched, almost dropping her key. She squinted, just barely able to see Faendall as he ran towards her in the dark. He stopped in front of her, coughing and bending over in pain as his running caught up to him all at once.

The Redguard placed a hand on the Bosmer's back, giving it a few hits. She asked questions, worry in her tone. Faendall's ears were ringing, and he didn't catch a single word. After a bit of struggling, Faendall was able to catch his breath enough to speak.

"My friend," He choked out. "He's gonna...He's..."

Faendall forced himself to stand up tall. He wiped the sweat off his brow and shook his head. He looked at the shopkeep with unfiltered desperation and terror in his eyes.

"I'll pay anything, absolutely anything! Just please, please give me a cure disease potion!"

The color in the woman's cheeks drained a bit, and a look of pure sorrow overtook her. She took Faendall's hands in her own and nodded. 

"Stay here, hon. Stay here, it's alright."

The woman turned and dissapeared behind her shop door. Faendall felt his legs start to shake, and he looked down at them. He didn't realize he was crying until the tears hit the chest of his tunic.

The door opened with a creak, and the Redguard stepped out. She remained sympathetic, holding a large red vial in her hands.

"Here honey, here. take it."

Faendall hissed a breath in, struggling to form words. He choked out an unintentional whine as the woman pressed the bottle into his hands. She squeezed his wrists tight and gave a stern nod.

"Go to your friend, hurry."

Faendall nodded and turned to sprint off. He blew through the gates quickly, making a guard nearly drop their torch. Faendall held the potion close to his chest as he followed the trail back to the saw mill. 

He had a potion, and that meant he had time. He had to still have time. There was the faintest sliver of sunlight left somewhere in the world, right? He ignored the howling all around him and kept on, beyond stretched thin. He felt just on the verge of collapse, closing his eyes to shake his head. He sucked in a long breath.

It was almost immediately knocked out of him.

Faendall kept a grip on the bottle of cure disease, rolling as he landed. Whatever hit him had enough force to make him fly a good 4 feet. He curled up and rolled onto his back, pocketing the potion and pulling out his bow. He froze as his breath got caught in his lungs.

The werewolf towered over him, howling loud and long at the moons. Its claws were already wet with blood, shimmering and dripping from a fresh kill. Faendall felt his bones get wracked with fear. 

He managed to aim, arms shaking. There was shuffling and more howling from behind the werewolf. Maybe a pack? Maybe a cast of rivals? The werewolf looked down at Faendall, eyes silver and devoid of any and all humanity. Faendall managed to speak, every inch of him trembling. He couldn't let the arrow go.

"Please, don't---No!"


	9. Half-Moon Mill - Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 3. 
> 
> A few days after I last published my mother died. Kind of lost motivation.
> 
> I apologize.

"Please, don't--!"

Faendall could feel his fingers slip, yet they wouldn't let go of the drawn bowstring. This absolute beast couldn't be Kerev, it couldn't. He couldn't have been too late. Faendall saw the murderous intent behind the monster's eyes. It opened its jaw wide and lunged for him.

"NO!"

Faendall cried out, letting the arrow go. It hit the werewolf, but it didn't seem to bother it. The beast was instead bowled over by yet another werewolf.

Faendall was overcome by pure flight instinct. The silhouettes of no less than three lycanthropes framed the night sky, and all Faendall could focus on was getting away from them.

The sounds of mashing teeth and horrid yelps cascading around the woods served only to fuel his escape. He stumbled and fell to his knees, catching sight of flickers of fire spells being tossed somewhere off in the distance. Faendall looked around, finding a rather large tree. It had fallen over, roots jagged and forming a rather good form of cover.

Faendall crouched and hid within the roots, chest heaving. He could feel his head grow light as dots started to fill his vision. He had pushed himself too hard. There was crack and a scream as Faendall fell back, hitting his head on the tree. 

Whoever screamed was close, yelping and shouting out nothing but noise. A loud howl followed the fearful man, cut off by a screech of pain from the beast. Faendall peered out from the roots of his hiding spot, arms trembling from exhaustion that was slowly beginning to fade away.

A werewolf stumbled backwards into view, bleeding and slashing viciously at the sky. It hit nothing, barking and mashing its jaws together with a nasty sloppy mushing sound. Then it howled out for the last time, body errupting into flames. It crashed into the dirt, revealing a shirtless Dunmer, holding a dagger of inferno.

Kerev was as still as a stone, the only signs of him being alive being the tears and blood that dribbled down his face. Faendall couldn't catch his eyes, letting out a pained cough. He felt himself trembling as if he were stuck in a frozen lake.

Time wasn't real anymore, it seemed to both fly by at the speed of a dragon's fire and crawl to the sluggish pace of the ice caps shifting beneath the waves of Tamriel's oceans. But by the end of a few heartbeats, whether it was a few moments or many years, Faendall had Kerev in his arms. 

His body acted on it's own, crackling electricity frying his nerves as burning cold relief washed over him. He could feel the Dunmer's bare chest expand and constrict as it pressed against his own. Kerev merely leaned into the crushing vice grip of his companion. Faendall didn't realize he was crying until he felt Kerev's fevered hands wipe away his tears.

The fog in Faendall's brain finally began to clear. He managed to stop running a hand through Kerev's hair, pulling away enough to look the Dunmer in the eyes. Kerev was much much worse for wear than Faendall left him, cheeks sliced red and dripping crimson, eyes cloudy and dull, and much too pale skin. Kerev opened his mouth to speak, his voice croaked and crackly.

"Faendall-"

"I'm here," Faendall cut him off, tearing an arm away to grab the potion he hastily stashed. "Don't speak."

With shaking hands and a tender touch, Faendall managed to uncork the bottle and place it on Kerev's lips. The Dunmer hesitated for a moment, but gave into his exhaustion and easily allowed Faendall to feed him the potion.

Once the potion was completely down, Kerev felt his bones clack and burn. He sucked in a long gasp of air, relaxing into Faendall as his Bone Break Fever faded away. The Bosmer was effectively pressed against a tree stump, unable to do anything but hold Kerev closer. 

He did it. He wasn't too late. He managed to save him. He succeeded. 

Neither realized they were slipping away into sleep. Fading into a dreamless inky void in each other's arms.


	10. Unseasonably Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faendall and Kerev meet the Jarl.
> 
> Things escalate from there.

Faendall woke up first, prying his eyes open to the bright morning sun. He found it a bit hard to breathe, Kerev squishing him against an all too solid tree trunk. His spine was being a bit unforgiving.

Even still, the Bosmer managed to stretch out his legs and take in a solid yawn of fresh air. He placed a hand on his companion's bare shoulder, rubbing it with a thumb. There wasn't much blood crusted on Kerev, the Dunmer seemingly having accidentally wiped it off on Faendall's tunic. He moved to try and get the other to wake.

"Kerev," He mumbled, voice a bit hoarse. "Wake up."

Fear creeped up Faendall's spine for the solid two seconds it took for Kerev to react. Thankfully however, the Dunmer proved easy to rouse.

"Hondil?" Kerev mumbled out, voice a pathetic crackly breath. 

Faendall took a deep breath, ending it in a smile.

"No, it's me, friend." He said, voice nearly a whisper.

Kerev seemed to come back to his senses. He rubbed his eyes and started to separate himself from the Bosmer. His bones were nice and loose, but his muscles were taught. They throbbed and cried out, making the Dunmer wince a small bit. 

Faendall was quick to stand up alongside his companion. He gently placed a hand on Kerev's elbow as well as his lower back. He hummed as Kerev started hissing out swears, weakly starting to walk.

"Gods, that fever. I felt like I was in the dessert without shade," he complained.

Faendall giggled a bit, worry starting to creep up his spine once more. He watched as Kerev pulled out his journal, flipping through the now blood stained pages.

"I'm so glad you're alright."

Kerev paused for merely a moment, his breath catching. He continued onward, reading as twigs snapped beneath his shoes.

"Thanks to you, I'll be alright for quite a bit."

Faendall had a lump in his chest, gnawing away at him. He had so many questions, worried that their hosts somehow harmed Kerev while he was away. But he couldn't find it in himself to pry. Even as Kerev started glaring at his journal entries.

The two stayed in a comfortable silence as they walked on, heading for Falkreath. Along the way Faendall scanned for danger, and Kerev removed his semi-torn stained shirt. Faendall managed not to stare, watching Kerev's eyes as the Dunmer started scribbling out an entire page of his journal.

\--  
Hondil showed me today. Showed me what happens when we get the itch. He said it's okay. That I'm normal. And I'm so happy. I've always been so scared. But now it's okay. I don't have to worry. I'm just strong! Tough! I'll be the very best, most strongest, super cool epic person in the whoooooole dessert! And if I end up doing it when the sun's still up it'll be okay because Hondil will be there so I can be super safe!I'm happy I'm this way.  
\--

Kerev could feel his eyes burning as he held back the tears. Reading this again, with the curse of hindsight, near tore him apart. He scribbled so furiously the quill was at severe risk of slicing through to the other pages in the journal. He didn't wait for the ink to dry, snapping the journal shut and all but slamming it into his bag. He felt his chest seize up as he fought off a scream. It only got worse as he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"It's alright," Faenall's soft voice cut through the cloudy haze of rage surrounding Kerev. "It's all going to be alright, friend."

Friend. That word brought comfort. A comfort Kerev was unfamiliar with. He gave his companion a weak smile, rolling his shoulders back. He placed a hand over Faendall's, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I know."

The two reached the gates of Falkreath, walking through them casually. Faendall put his bow away and started looking around, scanning the crowds for an unusually tall Altmer. Kerev was a bit preoccupied, wiping away what little dirt remained on his face.

The two could feel eyes on them, Kerev moreso. A Nord watched on from the doorway of a shop, glaring at them and gritting his teeth. Faendall brushed it off, gently tugging Kerev along just as the Dunmer started to slow down.

Kerev felt himself suck in a breath, likely puffing up his chest. He let Faendall drag him along, just barely managing to tear his gaze from the Nord. He wasn't in a fighting mood, and yet he found himself much more territorial than usual. But, today, he could hold it back.

"Kerev, where would Hondil be? Should we check the shops? The inn?" Faendall started suggesting, calm and collected despite his worry.

Kerev thought for a moment, slowing to a stop. He pinched his chin and pursed his lips as he sifted through his mind. When they planned their route, Hondil had told him of each menial little step he wanted to take. He had only half paid attention through those discussions, and regretted it a bit. He nodded and relaxed as the conversations started flooding back to him.

"The Jarl," He explained, turning to Faendall. "We planned to meet with and speak to the Jarl at every major settlement. For assured success."

Faendall smiled and offered a nod.

"Let's start there, then."

The two made their way to the Jarl's longhouse, pushing open the heavy wooden door. Kerev led, turning his head around to get a good look of the interior. It was just as he'd imagined. A nice, long firepit laid in the center of the room. Beautifully carved wodden walls framed said firepit, sporting two staircases and two doorways. There was movement behind closed doors, though the Jarl sat on his throne front and center.

Kerev perked up and immediately started walking over, new pep in his step. Faendall followed close behind, admiring the building's architecture.

Jarl Siddgeir at first barely seemed to notice the elves, carrying on a conversation with his steward. Within an instant, he seemed to snap away from his conversation. His head turned fully, his body language was a bit less lax, and he let his small smile fade to a neutral expression. Kerev slowed his approach as the Jarl spoke.

"Yes? What is it that you want?"

Faendall swallowed a bit, his eye contact not being returned. Kerev took a short breath and took a stern step forward. Jarl Siddgeir seemed to flinch at the Dunmer's actions.

"Jarl, I am La'Kerrie Ovu. This one sells wares with an Altmer, Do'ndil Uvo. He goes by Hondil, while doing buisness in Skyrim."

Faendall felt his gaze slowly turn to focus on Kerev. He slowly blinked, absorbing information. Was this how Kerev acted selling his wares? Maybe Hondil did the talking.

"This one got seperated from Do'ndil during the dragon attack on Helgen. We were wondering if you've seen him?"

Jarl Siddgeir slowly nodded, eyes never quite meeting Kerev's. His mouth struggled to stay shut, the Nord closing his mouth to swallow as if he were nursing an ale. He sat up a bit straighter in his throne, clearing his throat.

"You have...a very unique accent."

Kerev lowered his head a bit, mindessly sratching at his collarbone. Faendall took a few steps forward, standing next to his companion.

"I am from Elsweyr," Kerev spoke softly, calm yet stern. "Do'ndil is taller than me, much fairer skin. Have you seen him?"

Jarl Siddgeir cleared his throat yet again, tapping the arms of his chair. Faendall stiffened a bit, realizing exactly where the Jarl was looking. He should've made Kerev put on a shirt. The Jarl looked away, studying the wood patterns on a nearby doorframe.

"I might have. A lot of people have been through my hold."

Kerev raised up on the balls of his feet, at attention. He instinctively pinched Faendall's arm, tugging at his tunic. Faendall did his best to ignore it.

"Where is he? Did he tell you?"

The Jarl held up a finger, making a patronizing noise. A smirk coated his lips.

"Nah-ah-ah. I have a task for you first."

Faendall took a small step forward, anxiety bubbling up his spine. He straightened his back and spoke sternly.

"Jarl, sir, all due respect, this is someone's family at ris--"

"Do not speak over me!" Jarl Siddgeir cut Faendall off with a slam to his throne. "I wasn't done speaking!"

Faendall stepped back beside Kerev, glancing at him. Kerev was surprisingly calm, seemingly unaffected by the Nord's outburst. Jarl Siddgeir calmed down within a few moments, rubbing his chin and relaxing in his throne.

"Now, as I was saying. I have a task for you first."

Kerev started listening intently, focusing on the Jarl's eyes. They didn't meet his own.

"There's a group of bandits in my Hold that I... may have had a few discreet dealings with," He explained. "The cut they were giving me was good at first, but now it's time to clean things up. I have already sent someone to do it, but...well."

Jarl Siddgeir held up a letter he pulled out of his robes. It had a single blood splatter on it.

"This was found near the entrance to Knifepoint Ridge. So I'll need someone else to clear this up."

Faendall opened his mouth to object, to argue how unfair it was to hold information hostage. But the grumbly, hissed, low voice of his companion killed his voice in his throat.

"My Jarl,"

Kerev sounded like a Khajiit, his inflections rumbled with each letter and he rolled each vowel. Faendall couldn't help but listen intently. 

"It will be done. Trust this one, we will return to you within three days."

Faendall felt a bit entranced by his friend's natural accent, something stirring in his gut. He snapped back into his right mind as he heard the Jarl speak.

"Good. And, when you return, put some clothes on for Gods' sakes. You're making me..."

Jarl Siddgeir's lips curled into a grimace, having to turn his head to tear his gaze from Kerev's exposed torso.

"...Unseasonably warm."

\+ + +

Faendall exhaled harshly as the two left the longhouse. He all but leaned against the post that held Falkreath's banner. A hand on his hip, he looked up at Kerev, a bit pissy about...something he didn't understand.

"Why would you agree to something like that? He's holding information ransom, and who knows if he's even telling the truth?" He asked, concerned but harboring a temper.

"Well, it's good to build relations. And he's a Jarl, so--" Kerev shut his mouth before Faendall could verbally cut him off, calmly watching the Bosmer speak.

"You shouldn't want to 'build relations' with him! He's obviously lazy, seedy, and all kinds of immoral," Faendall scoffed, catching himself scanning Kerev's chest. "Unless, of course, you mean to 'Build Relations' the way a Bard would."

Kerev slowly crossed his arms. An eyebrow raised up as his lips puckered a bit.

"You're implying my end goal is to bed a Jarl?"

"Didn't you see his eyes?" Faendall asked, face beginning to flush. "They were wandering all over you!"

"And that's a bad thing?"

Faendall sputttered for a moment, standing up and starting to pace in front of the Dunmer. He found his words and began to gesture towards Kerev.

"Why wouldn't it be?! He was practically...undressing you with his gaze!"

Kerev took a step forward, no change in expression. Faendall didn't react.

"And that's supposed to insult me somehow?"

"No, of course not!" Faendall paused his pacing, staring Kerev directly in the eyes. "I'm just saying, it...it's repulsive."

"To what? Undress someone in your mind's eye? Sleep around? What, Faendall, is so repulsive?"

"The staring!"

Faendall didn't even blink as Kerev quickly closed the distance between the two of them. They stood a mere foot apart.

"You stare at Camilla the same way! I know you do," Kerev argued.

"I do not! I admire her beauty, I don't tarnish her by gawking at her like she's some lowly Wh--"

Within an instant, Faendall felt the air rush out of his lungs. Kerev had his tunic in a vice grip, their noses now touching. Faendall could see the rage in the Dunmer's eyes. The hurt. He could barely catch his breath, feeling Kerev's brush past his lips. 

"Whore, right?!" Kerev barked, his voice raising by quite a bit. "Like some lowly **Whore** , is that what you think of me?!"

Faendall couldn't find a way to catch his breath to respond. Even if he could find the air for it, his brain was filled with white noise. He simply stared, unable to blink as his eyebrows knit upwards in confusion. 

This anger, it was boiling. Hotter than a volcanic spring. More blistering than a dragon's fire. Faendall knew anger like this. It had likely been lingering in his dear friend for months. Years, maybe. Kerev continued to shout, straightening up his back. It forced Faendall to lift himself up to the very tips of his toes.

"You all think alike. Men, Mer, Beast, it doesn't matter. Everyone besides you is some delicate flower, tarnished by thoughts of lust. You all think that 'disgusting' acts of passion somehow pluck off our petals. That we're all worn down to the roots. We aren't. We were never precious flora for you to pluck."

Faendall couldn't feel the ground anymore, and within a moment, his back was forced against a wall. The air left him once again, yet he maintained eye contact with the fuming Dunmer holding him up. Kerev lowered his voice to a mumble, eyes beginning to shine.

"That Jarl can look at me however he likes. _I welcome it_."

Kerev dropped Faendall, instantly turning around and storming off. Faendall stumbled and just barely managed to regain his footing. He looked up, watching Kerev leave. He felt a lump in his throat.

He wanted to call out to the Dunmer, to shout and scream an apology. Anything to make him come back and to fix whatever just happened. 

But he simply stood there. Silent. Watching his friend walk off.

"...Nice one, Faendall. Chasing off your friend."


	11. Examine Your Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally got motivation to finish up this chapter's last half.
> 
> Enjoy

"...Nice one, Faendall."

The Bosmer kicked up some dirt, beginning to wander down the streets. He ignored any potential wandering eyes, keeping his head down. His chest ached.

"Chasing off your friend."

Even using those words, friend, even then he felt it wasn't quite right. It didn't fit in his mouth. He took a slow deep breath and kept on waking, glancing at the edges of buildings. The scraping of a sword on a grindstone brought a memory back.

Faendall looked up and began searching for the alchemist shop, needing to pay the woman back. He walked a bit fast, flinching away as a Nord started up some shpeal he wasn't interested in playing into. He didn't have energy to care about how disgusting he was to some milk drinker.

The shop was easy enough to find, and Faendall was grateful it was open. He pushed the door open and looked around, easily catching sight of the Redguard woman from before. She gave a nod and started to walk around the counter, a hand on her chest. Faendall stayed put, shutting the door behind him.

"Hello! Is your friend alright?" The woman's voice was peppy, but still laced with concern.

"Yes, he's alright," Faendall started to pull out some gold, counting it. "How much was the potion?"

The woman hummed, eyes drooping a bit. She put a hand on one of the Bosmer's, pushing it down. She shook her head and made a hissing noise when Faendall opened his mouth to protest.

"No."

"No?" Faendall was taken aback, grip on his coin pouch tightening. "But...I just came to you and demanded a potion. I should be expected to pay for both the potion and the inconvenience."

The woman softly smiled. She was well composed and calm, and Faendall was suddenly hyper aware of how dirty and scuffed up he must be. He felt a bit embarrassed.

"You were desperate, honey. I've been there myself." She tilted her head a bit, eyes warm. "You care for that friend of yours a lot. Knowing they're alright is payment enough for me."

Faendall felt a lump in his throat, overcome with gratitude. He sputtered a bit, holding his coins to his chest. He felt his eyes wander, forcing them to meet the woman's.

"I...I can't thank you enough."

The woman giggled a bit, reaching forward. She grasped Faendall's arms and gave a gentle squeeze. It was overall motherly, bringing Faendall back to times long past. He blinked a few times, trying to push out a smile that didn't want to come.

"Don't cry, honey."

"I-I'm sorry," Faendal started wiping his eyes, unsure when they became streams of salt. "I'm just. Overwhelmed."

"I can tell. Come sit." 

The woman easily led Faendall to a table near her fireplace, sitting him down. She moved a few things, leaving the Bosmer ample room. The alchemist herself sat in front of him, all but shoving an elbow into a pile of herbs.

"So, where's your friend now?"

"O-oh, he..." Faendall felt sadness yank at his ribcage. Guilt. "...He's cooling off. We had a bit of an argument."

"Oh, I'm sorry." The alchemist started fussing with her hair, relaxed. "Was it about his sickness?"

"No, nothing like that. We just. Well."

Faendall had to think for a moment. He knew what he said caused Kerev to get wound up and fire, but he wasn't too certain why. He himself wasn't calling Kerev anything derogative, not intentionally. Why would he have read it like that?

Faendall felt his skull almost tighten as he began to sift through all too much information. Maybe it was wrong, on some level, to insult someone based on their personal life choices. But then, if he got so offended, did that mean...

"...I called him a harlot. I didn't mean to, but I did." 

Faendall felt himself deflate. The woman snorted and held a hand over her mouth, making the Bosmer jolt a bit in his seat. The alchemist crossed her legs and fluffed her dress, still smiling.

"Is that all? Either your friend doesn't like apologies, or you are absolutely horrible with your words."

Faendall felt his face flush. He started scratching the side of his face, starting to study all the herbs on the table. The fire's crackling almost sounded like chittering laughter.

"Well, he...I don't...the Jarl, he was...staring at him! Just--" Faendall started gesturing at his torso with a hand. "--Eyes wandering all over him. I was just pointing it out."

The alchemist tilted her head. She was still smiling. She used her hands to cup and hold her face, leaning on the table fully. Berries and leaves mushed beneath her elbows.

"But why? Did your friend not notice? Or?"

Faendall paused for the woman to continue. When she didn't, his eyebrows knit together.

"Or what?"

"Or was it because you were jealous?"

Faendall suddenly found himself unable to breathe.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kerev's quill scratched and scraped loudly, whipping around the page. He would write in his journal and then nearly scrape what he wrote out, coming much too close to slicing the precious pages in half. Tears clouded his eyes and his teeth ground together, ink flying everywhere and coating his fingertips. Everything was sloshing and melding together, and by the end of the full page rant, very few words were decipherable as he read it over.

He called me----He said I was----I've never even tried to-----a JARL he actually thought-----

Kerev sucked in a breath and screamed, chucking his journal as hard as he cloud into the grass in front of him. He was clouded completely over in a haze of pain and anger. He gripped his hair and yanked it forward, forcing himself onto his knees. The momentum kept him moving forward, and he landed on his elbows and forehead. He near faceplanted into his journal, almost immediately clutching it tight against his chest. He started loudly sobbing, not caring about where he was.

Everything was crashing down on him all at once. The werewolves, the vampires, wandering around a cold unforgiving wasteland, being so far from home, being insulted by one of the closest people he held dear, and Hondil. It was all becoming too much. It was way beyond anything a single person should have been able to handle. And he was being forced arse first into the pit.

Kerev couldn't help but fall to his side, snapping his quill in half beneath him. His breathing began to hitch, and his cries were starting to quiet. He slowly pulled his journal away from his chest, arms trembling. He could feel everything burn and he quickly pressed it back against his chest. He curled up around it, now softly crying to himself.

The wind was gentle, making the grass sway around the Dunmer and almost mimic a caress. Gravestones loomed over him, watching over his every breath and shudder. The sun burned through the clouds, just barely beaming its heat onto Kerev's skin.

"Come back," Kerev choked out, almost entirely silent. "Come back."

Kerev squeezed the journal even tighter, knuckles starting to turn white. He stared intently at the bound pages, heart slamming in his ribcage. He was worried about what he had done to one of the final pages, but he didn't have enough strength to tear it away from his person.

He was too weak to do anything but lie there, cold and alone. He'd have killed to turn back time. To just grab Hondil and hold onto him tight. It would've been better if they had stayed together. They would be warm, and happy, and exploring Skyrim, and seeking out their fortune. But here he was instead, cold and trembling in a graveyard. Alone. Having just screamed at and shoved away his only companion.

Kerev sniffled and finally stopped crying, unable to calm his breathing. He used his thumb to rub the pages, noticing with newfound horror that some pages had been knocked loose. He refused to investigate further, instead just slowly pulling out a dislodged page. He choked on a breath he had yet to take, trembling at the irony of it all.

'I think I messed up. Messed up bad, I.  
They all found out. They found out a long time ago. But Hondil didn't he--------  
He was so horrified. He knew how many times I  
Who told him how many times? Who COUNTED for me?  
...He wanted me to tell him it wasn't true, so I said it wasn't but. They're going to change my name, I know they are. They're going to mark me a La', a harlot, a wench, a whore, I don't know how I'm going to  
If I could go back, if I could just go back and change it all I

I definitely would've locked the door.'

Kerev didn't bother flipping to the other side. Reliving Hondil's visceral reaction to his name still hurt. But it burned worse to know it still had power over him. All he had done was something he liked. Something that hurt no one. The boiling shame from everyone around him just knowing ruined his life. It had taken years for him to bite back. To embrace it. It hadn't bothered him or Hondil since they had become merchants.

And yet, hearing Faendall imply he was promiscuous, that he had plans of a rather adult nature. It had brought all of this back. But why had it mattered? Many had called him worse, right to his face. And he walked around with his name like it were a badge of honor.

But Faendall was different. How, Kerev wasn't sure. And he forced himself not to care.

Kerev sat up and wiped his face dry, opening his book and carefully placing the page back where it belonged. He pushed all the pages back into the spine and closed it shut tight. Using the last of his rope, he tied it shut four ways and secured it to his hip, now hidden under his bag. He stood up and pulled out his map, scanning it. 

With a new determination and a hard-pressed glare, Kerev found a good route to take. He started off towards Knifepoint Ridge alone. If he happened to run into Faendall on the way, he could follow. If not, well.

He was strong enough without him.


	12. At Knife's Ridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Been gone long. Had a lot of life to live.  
> Back at it again, though!  
> Hope you like it.

Kerev took a deep breath, tightening his journal's makeshift straps against his body. He started crouching, listening to the world around him. It had taken nearly an hour to even find Knifepoint Ridge. He didn't quite like not having a map. He never should've dropped it. 

The Dunmer made his way to the entrance, seeing blood streaking the dirt and grass flooring. It led inside the cavern. He looked back at all the wooden posts and structures, trying his best not to count the dead bodies littered all over the place. 

Kerev felt his spine shudder and he swallowed down the lump in his throat. Hopefully most of the bandits were already taken care of.

Kerev didn't take the time to sift through any tents or hidden structures. He stayed close to the dirt and made his way towards the open mineshaft. The doors were creaky but not old, and the light heavily shifted from bright sunlight to suffocating darkness. 

He stood at the entrance for a moment, letting his eyes adjust. The Dumer was startled only a few moments later, flinching as a well built Orc rounded the corner.

"Huh? Who's there?"

Kerev all but dove under a table, having to run a solid second towards it. He curled up into a ball, holding his breath. There was a sharp sound of steel as the Orc lumbered closer. 

"Come out," The Orc barked, slamming his sword into a chair just beside Kerev. 

Kerev had to press his hands against his mouth to mask any noises, fear starting to creep up his chest. This wasn't how he had planned to do this at all. Not only was the camp already covered in carnage, but there were no solid vantage points for him to shoot. 

He had always been the one to leap up and protect Hondil, without any hesitation whatsoever. Why now was he choking up? Why now was he trembling under a table? If Hondil were in danger, he would...

"I know you're in here!" The Orc started getting even more agitated.

Kerev stiffened up. He felt his heart and his breathing slow down. If Hondil were in danger. If Hondil were here.

Kerev took a deep breath, moving to draw his bowstring. He bunched up his knees, ready. He held his breath for just a bit longer, focusing. He realized what was missing. 

"Right here!"

Kerev shouted, standing up with all his force. He hit the side of the table shoulder-first, easily pushing it upwards and causing it to fall over. His arm pulled the bowstring back as he notched an arrow, aiming right for the Orc's face. The Orc barely had any time to react, turning as Kerev let go.

The Orc screamed as the arrow sunk into his collarbone, back arching as his throat filled with blood. Kerev didn't wait for him to fall over, notching and shooting another arrow into his center mass. 

Kerev could hear commotion come from father in the mineshaft, not taking his eyes off the bandit in front of him. The Orc quickly fell still, likely bleeding out. Kerev let out a sharp breath and aimed towards the entrance. It seemed to bottlenose, a chest hiding just around the corner. 

The voices got louder and Kerev got calmer, his grip on the bow relaxing. He waited for the first bandit to rear her head, a human, then shot. The woman cried out and stumbled back, two more bandits taking her place.

The bandits shouted and ran for Kerev with their swords drawn, another woman taking an arrow to the shoulder. Kerev managed to shout over them, a grin curling up his lips.

"Thought there'd be more of ya!"

Kerev understood the hilarity of getting almost instantly knocked over, the broadside of a sword's steel blade slamming into his cheekbone. Kerev dropped his bow, ribs smashing into a table leg, snapping it off. 

The bandit jumped over the makeshift cover, sword raised high. Kerev just barely rolled out of the attack, managing to pull a dagger out. He stood up and swung, slicing into the bandit's chest.

The female bandit managed to get in a hit as well, a mace slamming into Kerev's spine. The Dunmer lurched forward and fell onto the Breton in front of him, the two falling to the stone floor.

Kerev rolled off and leapt up, jumping over the table. The Human woman wasn't quick enough in her reaction, swinging down and crushing the chest cavity of her bandit companion. Kerev laughed, running past the other human woman. He managed to get a good stab in, the bandit screeching in anger and pain.

Kerev leapt over the chest, all but diving into the caverns of the mineshaft. He ran and ran, turning a corner and pressing himself against the wall. Before he could smile and celebrate, however, he felt the weight of his foot snap a rope. He could hear the creaking of a trap, wincing as he readied himself for pain.

"Ah, well."

The log came down with a hammering THUD.

\-----

Faendall shook his head, swallowing. He thumbed the side of the teacup in his hands, the warmth comforting.

"No," he repeated. "No, it's not-...It can't be jealousy. I-I don't...I have eyes for someone else."

The Alchemist kept her smile, sipping at her own tea. She had added more wood to the fire, and the kettle was off to the side, still plenty hot for more tea. The Redguard woman used a hand to pull some hair behind her ear. 

"Well then, tell me about this other person you have your eyes on."

Faendall took steady breaths and stared at the dark tea in his hands. His lips tightened, and he fought the urge to bite them. He found himself having to think, quite a bit hard. He didn't like what that implied.

"Well, she's a beautiful woman. Lovely hair, beautiful eyes. She--she always has on a smile. And her voice is soft and calming."

The Alchemist waited a bit before responding. She nodded and sipped her tea.

"And what about your traveling friend? Tell me about them."

Faendall nodded and took a quick drink of his tea. It warmed his chest, and he paused. 

"Kerev...Kerev is. Odd. He was raised around Khajiit, and even has a Khajiit name. He always seems to be loud and full of life. Even when he got sick, he was too stubborn to get any help. He didn't even seem to want to consider it."

Faendall crossed a leg over another, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling.

"He has this...air about him. It's like he's hiding from me. But I know it's nothing too horrid. He doesn't seem to be a type of malicious being."

Faendall paused, looking back at his tea. He moved the cup, swirling the liquid.

"He's overly open and shameless. I don't think he likes dressing the way he does. And he says he's weak. Really weak. And I can see how he'd think so. But I know he's more capable than he's told me. And I know...I know he's lying about something. But I don't know what."

Faendall stayed silent for a few seconds, face slowly heating up as he began to think about all the time he's spent with Kerev. It had been a bit more than a week they had spent together. And yet, it had felt both longer and shorter.

"...But I don't think that's what bothers me."

The Alchemist set her cup aside. She brushed off her skirt, starting to stand and reach for the kettle.

"What bothers you, hun?"

Faendall took a long sip of his tea, nearly gulping half of it down. He took a calming breath and slowly wiped off his chin. It was still crusted with dirt and blood.

"I don't know. I just...I can't keep him off my mind."

Faendall paused, staring at his tiny reversed reflection in his cup. 

"...He needs someone to be there for him. And I don't want him to get hurt."

The Alchemist nodded and hummed. She walked over and started filling Faendall's teacup. Her eyes met his gaze and her smile softened.

"Do you see how you described that Kerev friend of yours?" She asked, soft.

Faendall raised an eyebrow, drinking more tea. The Alchemist giggled, sitting down and relaxing.

"Well, you used all those words and feelings. But with this woman you say you're so fond of? You used 'beautiful' twice. And it took you two seconds to tell me about her."

Faendall blinked, tilting his head for a moment.

"I don't see what you mean," he admitted, bringing his cup back up to his lips.

The Alchemist smiled.

"You gushed about Kerev for nearly five minutes."

Faendall nearly choked on his tea.

\------

Kerev coughed and gasped for air, still not finding it. The large log had slammed him right in the abdomen, knocking out all his air. The bandits dragging him by the arms weren't helping him catch his breath either.

The bandits were swearing and barking at one another, seemingly fighting over Kerev's fancily carved bow. One wanted to kill Kerev, the other wanted to torture him first. kerev wanted to be snarky in protest, but only managed to choke and hack up his own spittle.

"Hey, shut up, you!" A bandit shouted.

Kerev remained tense. He didn't fully fight back yet, waiting for an opportunity. He looked around all the mineshaft walls, trying to remember landmarks. He couldn't quite focus, oxygen intake much too low. He instead decided to calm down. Clear his mind.

He found himself gazing at the journal still strapped to him. Whether the women had dismissed the book as a worthless tome or had simply not seen it, he was unsure. But he was grateful he still had it.

He smiled a bit, saddened. He could remember the day he had gotten the journal. It was the middle of winter, the plats around his and Hondil's favorite sunspot were all brown and grey.

"Here, Kerrie," Hondil had said, holding out the black book. "It's so you can write stuff down."

Kerev remembered how he huffed, hugging his knees and staring at the broken bow in front of him.

"I don't write," He had told the Altmer.

Hondil had giggled, low and slow. He had sat right beside Kerev, all but forcing the journal between the Dunmer's knees and chin.

"Write down at least one page? For me?" Hondil had asked, eyes soft and sad despite the smile.

Kerev had grumbled and growled, huffing. But he had taken the journal anyway, pulling out a half stick of graphite. He scribbled and made sure the last word filled up the entirety of the parchment.

'My bow broke and writing down stuff is STUPID'

Kerev still remembered how Hondil giggled. How he wrapped his arms around him and how the cool breeze felt in the dessert sun. Even here, in a dark dingy mineshaft, he could feel the warmth of his lost brother comforting him. 

Kerev barely acknowledged getting dropped onto the stone flooring, breath still strained. He struggled to breathe steady but forced it, eyes shut. He wanted to just drown in memories. He wanted his life back. He wanted to hug Hondil again, to see his smile, to hear his voice as he said--

"Kerrie?"

Kerev's eyes snapped open. he flinched hard and tried to sit up, a bandit's heel forcing his chest right back down. He started to panic, heart racing as he looked over to where the voice came from.

The Altmer before him was too good to be true, tall and golden and with a scar that bisected his face. Kerev could feel his eyes burn as they welled up with tears.

"H...Hondil?"


	13. Twisting the Knife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> on the 20th of this month is the 1-year anniversary of my stroke

Faendall sat silently in his chair, tea gone, cup set aside. He was holding his chin in a hand, palm covering his mouth. He shook his head for what seemed like the millionth time. He stayed silent, eyes darting everywhere.

He had been spending quite a bit digesting the Alchemist's words, as well as his own. His heart was pounding and his face was almost completely flushed.

The Alchemist stayed silent, sipping the last of her tea. She started gathering the cups, leaving Faendall be.

As she passed beside the Bosmer, he spoke up. His voice was a bit of a squeal, and he just barely avoided a vocal crack.

"What do I do? Do I tell him?"

Faendall was hopelessly lost. He had spent months attempting to win over Camilla, sure. But Kerev was an entirely different beast. He hadn't lived around Kerev or had a very strong established dynamic. Each day something new would happen, and each situation Kerev acted at least a bit differently than Faendall did. He had a read, but not on this.

The Alchemist hummed and started heading for her work station. She brought some herbs and berries with her, eager. As she passed by Faendall again, she plopped a health potion in his lap.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do, hun. This is your life, your choice."

Faendall deflated a bit, thinking. He shot up in his seat, remembering the last interaction he and Kerev had.

"I have to apologize. Right now."

Faendall stood up and gave his legs a pat. He nodded at the Alchemist, a half bow of sorts.

"Thank you," He breathed out, walking towards the door.

The Alchemist gave Faendall a wave, her heart light and happy. Faendall felt a weight lift off him as he all but jumped into the outside. He started walking round, searching for any sign of Kerev.

He still wasn't certain he even had feelings for the Dunmer, but there had to be something there. Even now, the thought of holding Kerev close made his heart race. He couldn't fight the smile that curled up the corners of his lips, and he had to pat his cheeks to calm down.

After nearly 30 minutes of searching and sifting, Faendall remembered the Jarl's request. He sighed in a bit of anger, but shook it off. He pulled out his map and started making his way to Knifepoint Ridge.

\-------------------------------------

Kerev could barely believe his own eyes. He laid there, staring at Hondil. He wasn't hurt, wasn't tied up, nothing. He was just standing beside the Bandit Leader, leaning over a table. His hands were positioned the same way he always had them when it was his turn with the map. The Altmer's fingers were still clenched around a little red flag sticking out of the faded parchment.

"Kerev, what...you're alive," Hondil just about screamed, pushing past the muscular human beside him.

Hondil just about crashed into Kerev, diving down and scooping him up in a hug. The bandit woman stumbled back, cursing at the two. Kerev could hear Hondil sob, hugging the Altmer back as tight as he could.

"I've been looking everywhere for you," Kerev revealed.

Hondil pulled back, holding Kerev's shoulders tight. His smile was big and pained, tears streaming down his face. He shook his head and planted a brotherly kiss on the Dunmer's forehead before pulling back to look at him.

"I saw you fall, in Helgen. I thought you died."

Kerev laughed, voice wet with tears. He shook his head and grabbed Hondil by the shoulders.

"I was so worried, Hondil, I-"

"Oh, save the sobbing for your tea party, milk drinkers!"

The bandit leader's voice cut through Kerev's. He stomped around the table and leaned on it, arms crossed. His muscled bulged out, stretching out a few faded scars along the tissue.

"We have to plan this out fully. I don't need any Thalmor agents breathing down my neck."

Hondil gently stood up, leaning Kerev against the wall. The Dunmer winced, but Hondil gave him a reassuring squeeze. It didn't stop Kerev from clinging to Hondil's pantleg. The Altmer's voice was as sweet and slow as ever.

"You won't, Rio. I have to get my brother healed, his ribcage looks to be-"

"I said save it!" Rio's voice was loud and eardrum-shattering. "Now either get the hell back here and help me or slit his throat! We're leaving."

"No, He's not part of this!" Hondil pointed at Kerev, arm shaking. "He's never been part of this!"

Kerev felt like he had been dunked in the northern ocean. He swallowed hard and looked up at Hondil, then back to Rio. He couldn't help but tremble, from both pain and fear.

Rio's face flushed, and he grit his teeth so hard they squealed. He pulled out an axe from his side and started stomping up, opening his mouth to yell some more. Kerev reacted near instantly, managing to stand just long enough to push Hondil behind him.

Rio paused, leaning back. Kerev was at eye level with the Imperial, who no doubt saw himself as rather large. Kerev's arms were stretched out, and his entire body was trembling. It was obvious that he was on his last leg, his entire body was trembling and his nose began to leak crimson.

Rio squinted, looking the Dunmer up and down. Kerev took in a ragged breath and shook his head. He kept his voice clear and strong, despite his strained breathing.

"Don't...don't you dare touch him."

Rio barely gave pause, using a leg to sweep Kerev's own out from under him. Kerev yelped as his head slammed against the floor. Hondil was just barely too slow to catch him, crying out in fear. Kerev felt Hondil cradle his head, easing some of the pain. He could feel Hondil's healing hands surround him, the gentle bells jingling in his ears. Rio's voice nearly silenced them.

"Don't waste anything on him. We're going. Now. That's too many people that damned Jarl sent our way."

Hondil looked up at Rio, angry. He gripped Kerev's tunic tight, but halted the healing hands.

"I'm not leaving him," Hondil barked, starting to tremble.

Kerev held onto Hondil's hand, breathing getting a bit painful. he watched Rio's face almost soften. It quickly gained a hardness to it.

Rio pulled out a dagger, long and thin. It looked to be made up of five silver prongs, all twisting together to form a point. The hilt was made up of what looked like a glass vial, empty and new. It gleamed in the torchlight. Rio tossed the dagger at Hondil, the blade clanging like a bell against the stone of the mineshaft.

It sat next to Kerev, and he could feel the power radiating off of it. Fear and dread began to bubble up in his chest as he watched Hondil pick it up.

Hondil held the Dagger, starting to breathe oddly. Panicked. He looked up at Rio, shaking his head.

"No, I can't." His tone was pleading, desperate.

Rio only gripped his axe tighter. He seemed to loom over the two Mer, holding some higher power over them.

"Remember what Harkon told us. What you promised him."

"You wouldn't," Hondil's voice was hardly louder than a whisper.

Kerev tensed up as the Imperial only stared back. He started scooting backwards, worming his way out of Hondil's weak grasp. His back met the wall and he pressed himself into it.

"Put him down," Rio demanded. "Then we can leave this Gods-forsaken Keep to burn."

Hondil turned to face Kerev, a new darkness in his eyes. Kerev started to tear up, feeling his cheeks grow wet. He didn't understand, but he knew what his instincts were telling him. And he couldn't bring himself to do anything but raise up his hands.

"Hon-Hondil, no, don't--!" He begged, watching the Altmer creep closer.

Hondil adjusted how he was holding the blade, grip tightening on it. His body trembled but his arm was steady. He used his free hand to grab one of Kerev's hands, squeezing it so hard it cracked the knuckles.

Hondil couldn't bring himself to look Kerev in the eyes, pressing his forehead against his brother's. He was crying too, tears dribbling down and hitting Kerev's chest.

"Just go to sleep. It's just like...going to sleep," Hondil whispered, voice trembling and breaking.

Kerev took his free hand and used it to hold onto Hondil's shoulder. He pressed his forehead into the Altmer's, breath hitching. He struggled to speak through his sobs, unable to bring himself to fight against his brother.

"Please, no--" Kerev cut himself off with a yelping scream as the blade was plunged into his torso.

He whimpered and howled in pain, trying to get away. Hondil wrapped his arm around Kerev and held him still, with the inhuman strength the two of them possessed. Hondil started screaming with Kerev. Angrily screaming.

"Go to sleep," He demanded, wailing like a small child.

Rio watched on as Hondil started tearing the dagger out and jamming it right back into Kerev. The two were hysterical, Hondil moreso. Kerev's screaming yelps quickly started to melt into loud barking whimpers, getting weaker and weaker with each plunge of the blade.

Kerev could feel it scrape against his ribs and tear his organs asunder. He was barely able to open his eyes because of the pain, only able to see the dagger because the hilt began collecting more and more of his blood. It seemed to suck the crimson liquid out of him, replacing it with a cold sickly feeling.

He could feel the silver enter his blood, seeping into his bones. It was poison, and it was killing him faster than the blood loss. He could feel it creep up towards his heart, and all he could do was take it in.

Hondil's assault finally stopped when the blade split a bone, trapping it inside the Dunmer. Hondil tried to twist the blade out of it's trap but failed, his fingers too slick with blood. Hondil let the blade go and crushed Kerev in a hug.

His sobs were screams, rattling and shaking the very mineshaft. Kerev couldn't do anything but lie limp, still whimpering and choking out little sobs. Hondil was hissing and spitting out words, barely decipherable to Kerev.

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry Kerrie I'm so so sorry," were the repeated pleas that filled the entirety of the caverns.

Kerev didn't lift an arm, didn't move, didn't struggle. He felt Rio rip the dagger out of him, heard the man lumber off. But Kerev could only lie there and keep his eyes shut.

Hondil grabbed Kerev's face and tried to turn him, still trembling. He nearly headbutted Kerev as he kept hugging him over and over again. Neither Mer listened to Rio's barking to get up and move.

"Please," Hondil begged, starting to calm the screaming. "Please, Kerrie! Forgive me, please!"

Kerev sucked in a rattling breath and managed to weakly grab Hondil's cheek. He squeezed, calming his own sobs. He spoke clearly, raspy, but loud enough for Hondil to hear.

"I love you, brother."

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Faendall suck his way up through the outside fortress of Knifepoint Ridge. He took deep breaths, ignoring yet another arrow-filled body. They didn't seem like Kerev's, all iron, but he wouldn't be surprised if he found out the Dunmer was able to take down the entire fortress.

Faendall sucked in a breath and slid into a tent as he heard the doors to the mineshaft swing open. He peered around his cover, watching bandits pour out of the cavern. They all seemed normal, but caught in the middle was a rather decked out Imperial, as well as a hunched over sobbing person.

Faendall couldn't tell what the person was, but he could see that under the cloak they wore they were coated in blood.

The Bosmer swallowed hard and waited for the group to pass. He easily snuck by after they left line of sight, running into the mineshaft. He started walking at a brisk pace, seeing a few bodies littered about.

"Kerev?" Faendall called, prepared to attack.

Faendall listened for a response, not hearing one. He spotted a drag trail and followed it, biting the inside of his cheek. He felt his spine shudder as he got hit in the face with the overwhelming smell of blood.

"Kerev?" Faendall was shouting now, running.

He ran straight into a small room, a table and many chairs tossed aside. He let out a strained gasp for air as he saw Kerev, lying against a wall. The Dunmer was pressing his hands against a still bleeding wound, pale and trembling.

"KEREV," Faendall screamed, dropping his bow and running straight to his companion's side.

Kerev could only yelp in pain, having lost more blood than he was comfortable with. Playing dead for too long made a sizable ache grow in his spine, and he was suffering.

Faendall got straight to work, pulling Kerev's tunic up and off. He started tearing up his own, needing bandages. He uncorked the health potion the Alchemist gave him and all but forced it down Kerev's throat.

"Don't die on me, you're not allowed to die on me," Faendall shouted.

Kerev swallowed as much of the potion he could, feeling relief wash over him. He remained incredibly weak, just leaning against the wall. He didn't fight for his life anymore, letting Faendall take the reigns.

Faendall apologized whenever Kerev would wince or yipe as he started bandaging him up. He wrapped up the wounds with surprising accuracy and skill, adrenaline and fear fueling him.

After what felt like ages, the bleeding was staunched and Kerev was fully wrapped up. Faendall managed to calm his breathing, wiping away the tears from his eyes. He removed what was left of his tunic and used it to start wiping Kerev's face off. He felt his heart crack and shatter into pieces, seeing Kerev's eyes so dull and yet so alive.

"Thank you," Kerev mumbled out, hoarse.

Faendall sucked in a breath, tears threatening to creep back up. He shook his head and pulled Kerev in for a gentle hug. Kerev's skin was cold against his own. It only made the ache in his chest worse.

"I don't need that right now," He breathed out, rubbing Kerev's back. "I need you to be okay."

Kerev sniffled and shifted so he was sitting up. As Faendall started letting him go, Kerev all but fell right into the Bosmer's chest. He buried his face in Faendall's neck, holding him as tight as his arms let him.

Faendall was frozen for a moment, but then he hugged back. He held Kerev close, shushing him. The two remained intertwined for what felt like hours, their hearts beating loudly.

"Faendall," Kerev whispered. "Never leave me."


	14. Pity Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Been a year since my stroke!
> 
> Still kickin, bitches!

"Faendall,"

The words Kerev whispered out clung to Faendall's mind. Even now, they were repeating in his head. Echoing for hours on end.

"Never leave me."

Faendall looked over at his sleeping companion, alone on the bed. He was swaddled in all new bandages, proper ones. Thankfully there were plenty of people willing to assist with healing. Faendall wasn't sure how he'd live with himself if Kerev somehow perished.

He took a deep breath and stretched. He had been sitting in the inn room chair for what felt like hours. Hell, it might've been days at this point. Faendall couldn't bring himself to lay beside Kerev. He didn't feel like it was right.

He thumbed the beaten and aged journal in his hands for the hundredth time. He had fixed all the pages, put them back in place. He managed to keep from reading a single entry, too worried for Kerev to think straight. But he managed to fix what page damage was done to it. All except for Kerev's blood that now stained the majority of pages.

He stopped on the pages with the flower bookmark again, considering. He shut the book again, going back to idly thumbing it. It wasn't his place. Wasn't his right. His burning curiosity could handle not getting fed.

Faendall flinched when Kerev made a pained noise. He sat up straight and set the journal aside.

"Kerev?" Faendall asked, voice gentle.

Kerev stirred, blinking open his eyes. There was a single candle lighting up the room, nothing too harsh at all for the Dunmer. Kerev's eyes seemed to glow in the low light, meeting the Bosmer's.

"...Faendall?" He asked, in disbelief.

Faendall got up and went over to Kerev, kneeling beside the bed. He reached for one of Kerev's hands and gently squeezed it, sighing in relief.

"You're finally awake."

Kerev used his free hand to rub his eyes, squeezing Faendall's hands with the other. He nodded, still exhausted.

"How long?"

Faendall paused to think, nearly counting on his fingers. He decided against it, using a thumb to rub Kerev's knuckles.

"A few days. I changed your bandages an hour or so ago. You're almost all healed." He assured his companion.

Kerev just nodded, closing his eyes again. Faendall could see his companion's chest jolt a few times. He frowned, Moving a hand to move Kerev's hair out of his face.

"Are you okay?" Faendall didn't need to ask, he knew the likely answer.

Kerev sniffled and looked at Faendall again. Tears were welling up in his eyes. He reached for the Bosmer, gently grabbing the collar of his tunic.

"Hold me," he pleaded.

Faendall felt his heart leap into his throat. And almost immediately after felt like a horrible person.

"Y-yeah, okay."

Faendall carefully crawled over Kerev to get to the wall. There was more room there, and it was better on Kerev if he didn't have to move.

Faendall laid on his side, getting a bit overwhelmed. He wasn't sure completely what to do, and he tensed when Kerev stared moving.

Kerev turned so he was on his side as well, facing Faendall. He wrapped his arms around the Bosmer, shoving his face into his collarbone. Faendall relaxed, wrapping his own arms around Kerev.

"I'm sorry I called you a harlot," Faendall whispered, rubbing Kerev's back.

Kerev let out a weak laugh, a hiss hidden just behind it. Faendall couldn't help but smile.

"It's alright. This one is...I'm...easily offended."

Faendall took note of the sudden hint of an accent Kerev had. There was a rumble to his voice. He could hear Kerev's very being beg for rest. As if his soul was wilting.

"I'm still sorry," Faendall insisted. "I shouldn't have been so harsh. It was wrong of me, and...I was judging you based only on--"

Faendall nearly squeaked as he was cut off, Kerev's hand having come down to slap his mouth shut. Kerev's grasp was strong, yet loose. Faendall was certain he'd only have to yawn to break free from the grip on his upper lip and lower jaw.

"If I wanted to hear poetry, I'd read a love letter," Kerev mumbled, burying his face deeper into Faendall's chest.

Faendall felt himself blush, holding Kerev a bit tighter. Kerev seemed to relax into him, almost purring. His hand flopped down to wrap around Faendall again, nice and snug. Faendall could feel sleep attempt to worm up his spine. But Kerev's voice held him at attention.

"I don't think we should deal with bandits anymore."

Faendall huffed out a laugh in agreement.

"I second that one, friend."

"...What do you think of me?"

Faendall sat silent, the question having taken him aback. He swallowed and started pressing circles into Kerev's shoulders, massaging the tense muscles there.

"I'm...not sure what you mean," He admitted.

Kerev nodded and pulled a bit away, moving to turn onto his back. He held Faendall's arm, keeping it stretched along his chest.

"I'm not sure what I mean either."

Fendall let himself stay limp, not wanting to aggravate any wounds or let his hands wander. He sighed and pressed his forehead into the side of Kerev's head. Kerev responded exactly how he had guessed, pressing back.

"What's bothering you?" Faendall was hesitant, voice gentle. He could feel Kerev start pulling away.

"It's nothing."

"Nothing? Are you sure?"

The silence rang through the room. It seemed to radiate from the walls, curling around the two. It threatened to snuff the both of them out.

"Kerev," faendall was a bit more firm. "Please. You were nearly killed. I know that has to be weighing on you. I only want to-"

Faendall jolted a bit as Kerev cut him off. There was a deep growl beneath the Dunmer's voice. It sent a shiver up his spine. He wasn't sure why.

"I'm Fine."

It felt like hours had passed by the time Kerev started to sit up. He was restless, as he always was. He turned to Faendall, unsure if he was still awake. The Bosmer just looked up at him, blinking.

"I'm going to go hunting," Kerev mumbled, standing up.

Faendall sat up, unwilling to pull Kerev back down. He tightened his ponytail.

"I'm coming with you."

"No," Kerev nearly barked, whipping around to point at Faendall.

Kerev's hand trembled a bit before it dropped. He and the Bosmer simply stared at one another. The eye contact burned. Faendall saw the Dunmer's eyes begin to water as he looked away.

"...I have to be alone."

It took nearly every bone in Faendall's body to sit still and let Kerev leave. The Dunmer swiped up his bow and all but slammed the Inn door shut, leaving him completely alone.

Faendall laid back down and held his head in his hands. Kerev had been an unstoppable force up until this point. It was like water off a Mudcrab's back. Faendall couldn't grasp what could have shaken his friend to his very core.

"Kerev," He mumbled. "Why won't you let me help?"

He looked over at the Inn wall, stewing. He wasn't angry so much as he was upset. He wasn't sure what he'd need to do to get Kerev to open up. How could he comfort his friend? He was at a loss.

Faendall didn't realize he was staring at Kerev's journal until he was reaching for it.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kerev could feel the tissue of the tree get harder and harder in his hands. He stopped scraping and digging into the trunk, leaning his body against it. His heart was pounding with adrenaline. It burned. Hate, fear and sorrow seared into his veins.

He could feel himself getting shorter, the fur all around him dissolving into his skin. The blood he was soaked in made his entire being tingle. It was still warm, dribbling off his chin and trailing past his eyes.

He all but hugged the tree, looking behind him at the carnage. He didn't want to count, but found himself doing it anyway. There were wolves, bears, and rabbits surrounding him. Some were cut in half or torn limb from limb. All were scattered around, encircled in a moat of death surrounding the Dunmer.

Kerev turned away after he counted past ten. He started slamming his head into the unforgiving bark, fighting off the urge to start sobbing. Hondil, his friend. His brother. Kerev placed a hand on his wounds, just barely scabbed over. His fingers twitched as they ran over the rough skin.

The initial stab had been fast and deep, tilted the slightest bit to allow the blood to flow out. Just like Kerev had taught him. All the rest were rapid and shallow, missing just about every vital organ the Dunmer had. It was juvenile, and showed the extreme lack of experience Hondil had. Kerev finally knew how rabbits felt.

Even still, he had been stabbed. Many times. By his brother. 

Kerev could barely process what was happening in his brain, everything swarming and screaming at him non stop. His shame, his fear, his guilt, his anger. All that and more was tearing him apart inside. He couldn't help but snarl, pulling his arm back and punching the tree as hard as he could. 

Here he was, ever since he was a child, stuck drenched in the blood of innocent life. The only thing anything that had its gore splattered by him ever had in common was crossing his path. The one thing Kerev had ever managed to keep out of the line of fire, the pathway of a painful death, was Hondil. Hondil and one other person. The Bosmer that was plaguing his mind, invading.

If Faendall ever found out about the beast he held within, Kerev wouldn't be able to steer it clear from the innocent archer.

His chest heaved as he felt his own blood well up and stain the skin of his knuckles. Finally his own blood mingled with the rest. He could feel the chill in the air as he staggered backwards. He looked around, making sure he knew where he was.

Kerev was stuck in just his ragged smallclothes, thankful they didn't shred apart. His stash of clothing and items was sure to be around somewhere. He shook his head and started walking back towards the fallen log, dragging a leg behind him.

He felt everything around him start to vibrate. Birds began chirping again, rabbits rustled around him. The forest was coming back to life, the big bad wolf tamed and locked away.

They were safe now.

The Dunmer made it back to his hidden stash, pulling out a rather long cloth. He used a waterskin to wet it, cleaning himself up. He worked at it slowly, muscles screaming and everything aching from the strain of his hunt. 

He wasn't sure how long he had been out this time, soaking in the adrenaline crash washing over him. He finished up after quite a while, slipping on pants. He decided to lean against the log, staring up at the sky. The sunset was turning from gold to pink, the moons just ahead begining to shine. It was peaceful.

Kerev perked up, hearing a branch snap beside him. He looked over, breathing starting to slow. His eyes met with a Nord's. He couldn't help but pull out his bow, notching an arrow. He didn't have enough strength to pull the arrow back, gripping it hard at half pull.

The Nord in front of him was covered in armor, holding out a dagger. He was surrounded by two others, in matching plate. One cracked her knuckles and the other cracked his neck. All of them slowed their approach, the leader holding up a gentle hand.

"Dark Elf, archer...I think we have our man."

The Nord's voice was deep and gravely, as if he had torn his vocal cords up daily for the last thirty years. Kerev swallowed and took a step back, staggering.

"Wh-...what?"

The Nord smirked and pulled out a sharpening stone. He flipped it in the air a few times. His partners started pulling out weapons, a sword and a bow. The lesser two started mumbling to eachother, the archer pulling the bowstring back and aiming. The leader spoke up again, chest puffed out.

"Kerev, is it?"

Kerev felt his grip on his bow weaken. His bones were shaking, almost rattling under his skin. His voice came out in a hiss.

"You don't have to do this."

The thug smirked and leaned back, sharpening his dagger on a smooth rock in his palm. It nearly sparked.

"Sven sends his regards."


	15. Confessional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kerev struggles to hold in the beast. Faendall finally acknowledges his feelings.
> 
> Both cry.

"You don't have to do this."

Kerev could barely swallow. His mouth was drier than the dessert, the adrenaline buzz long faded away. His muscles ached. Fear burned down to his bones. The Nords in front of him were trained mercs, well built and obviously well rested and ready for a fight. He could only hope and pray that they wouldn't kill him.

"Sven sends his regards."

Kerev felt his legs start to tremble. The Nord's voice held intent, a bloodlust Kerev had heard before. He swallowed hard and tried to pull back his notched arrow.

The Nords all started to laugh at Kerev's attempts, slowly making their way towards him. He could barely raise the bow up to aim.

Kerev flinched as the main Nord batted his weapon down, forcing Kerev to drop it. He could barely hear his own thoughts over the echoing laughter of his attackers, not helped by a sudden sweep of his legs out from under him.

Kerev was unable to catch himself, his head slamming into the dirt. He barely had time to catch his breath before he felt the thug's lackeys stomp their boots onto his chest. He moved to react, but quickly his wrists were stomped on as well. He was pinned.

He could feel something pop, gritting his teeth and trying his best to stay silent. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, a frog in his throat. He remained silent as the thug pressed the overly sharp dagger to his windpipe. 

"You seem tired," Kerev could barely keep attention, feeling his blood trickle down his neck. "Let's make this quick, hm?"

Kerev shuddered and swallowed, feeling the blade cut him a bit deeper. He kept all his words in his chest and moved his gaze up to meet the Nord's. He refused to break eye contact, unsure why.

He felt the Nord move the dagger's blade away from his neck, the tip of it piercing an inch under his earlobe. Kerev sucked in a breath and held it, every atom in his body shaking in fear.

Everything quickly came to a halt. A loud, booming shout nearly ruptured Kerev's eardrums. Both he and the trio of thugs were shoved to the side, dragged through the dirt and torn asunder by stones and sticks.

Kerev didn't even stop to think, climbing to his feet and screaming. He let himself go completely, his cries of fear twisting into yelping howls of the beast he held within. The pain of the change was muted, and all Kerev knew was the warmth of the blackness that encased his mind.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Faendall moved the book from his right hand to his left, chewing on his lip. He had been waiting for Kerev to show back up for hours, arms long since sore from the constant shifting of the journal. Faendall sighed and put the book back on the table for the hundredth time. Never once having opened it.

Faendall rubbed under his eyes and leaned back. He stared up at the ceiling and thought about the alchemist's words. About how he felt about Kerev. He couldn't explain the mixture in his stomach, the air that caught in his mouth, the words that never made it past his lips. 

His mind was set ablaze with the memory of that forsaken Cabin. The Mill that Kerev seemed petrified of. That much was clear in hindsight. How Faendall had been so blind, he didn't know. He thought of the fear that encased him as Kerev started to growl and writhe. How fast he had run to get help. And how little he cared about what happened to him, so long as Kerev got the help he needed. A thought cut through the fuzzing cloud that fogged up his mind. 

'Would I have done the same for Camilla?'

Faendall nearly choked on his own spittle. Where had that thought come from? Had the Alchemist asked? 

Faendall sat up, hunching over as he held a hand over his mouth. A realization hit him. After all that gawking and objectifying of Camilla, of which Kerev seemed very put off by, Kerev wouldn't believe his feelings were genuine.

They had known each other for much too short. Kerev had pushed against Faendall's treatment of his previous love much too hard. He had called Kerev a Harlot, was absent for many of his accidents, wasn't there to help him or be with him when he should've. 

"He's not going to love me back," Faendall decided, whispering to himself.

Faendall shook his head, smacking himself in the temples. He grumbled and stood, putting his hair back up in a ponytail. He wrapped it up tight and packed up his things. 

He didn't care if Kerev didn't like him back. Camilla ignoring the flirting wasn't enough to keep him away then; Kerev just being his friend wouldn't keep him away now.

Faendall smiled to himself as he packed away Kerev's journal, careful to keep it safe. Maybe he was attracted to things he couldn't have. But that hardly mattered now. What mattered was finding Kerev. Being with him. 

Kerev needed a friend right now. And Faendall was willing to be just that. More than willing. He kept that mindset in his thoughts, heading outside the Inn to start looking for Kerev. He'd had enough alone time. 

\----------------------------------

'...Kerrie?' 

Kerev remembered how calm Hondil had always sounded. How his low smooth accent always complimented the Dunmer's own hissing dessert accent. And it never seemed to change, even as the two laid in the sun alone, hand-in-hand, surrounded by dessert bushes and half buried bodies in the blood soaked sand.

'What is it, Hondil?' He had asked, turning to face the Altmer.

Hondil didn't turn his head, much more focused on holding a hand over his bleeding wound. The High Elf swallowed hard and gripped his face harder, shaking.

'Is it gonna fall out, do you think?'

Kerev had coughed and giggled, gripping his own chest wound closed as best he could. The two were teenagers back then. They had thought they were immortal until that day.

'You're eye's gonna be fine, Hondil,' Kerev had assured his big little brother, squeezing his hand tighter. 'We're a Pack, remember? Packs are strong.'

He still remembered how Hondil's voice wavered for the first time ever. In all the years he's known the Altmer he'd only ever heard his voice squeak the once. And he remembered how the words made his blood run cold.

'...What if we're the monsters?'

Kerev was snapped back into reality, a freezing cold chill ripping him out of his memory. He sat up straight and gasped for air, the small lake's current washing up all around him. He looked all around him, seeing the corpses of various woodland animals scattered around him. Fish carcasses and Mudcrab shells were washing up beside him. 

Kerev realized he felt almost unbearably full. He buried his face in his hands and took quite a few deep breaths. He sat still for what felt like an hour, letting the cold of the water chill him to the bone. He heard the distinct noise of a far off Dragon overhead, likely flying nearby. He ignored it. When he eventually opened his eyes, he realized he was missing most of his clothing. 

With only a half torn pair of trousers, Kerev's torso was completely exposed. He let a hand rest on a long since scarred over chest wound, just under the left breast. He thumbed it, not feeling much. With a soft swallow he let his hand fall to the new wound. 

Still only a scab, the multiple stab wounds in his abdomen were nasty feeling. Tendrils branched out from a main entrance point, resembling an exploding sun. He could still feel the silver deep in his stomach tissue, the slight burn having been a tad unnoticed before. 

Kerev could hear a voice carry on the wind, calling out his name. He slowly lifted his head up, hair falling to the side in clumps of moist blood and sticky mud. The voice came closer, and he could see the Bosmer in question, waving to him and jumping over branches to get to him.

Kerev couldn't help but smile the smallest bit. Seeing Faendall show up, looking for him, even after everything that just happened, it made his heart beat just a little faster. He was unable to keep the smile long, scooping up water with his free hand to wash some dirt off his face.

Faendall called out for Kerev one last time, skidding to a halt next to the Dunmer. He was out of breath, bow in hand. Faendall quickly kneeled beside Kerev, dropping his bow and arrow on the shoreline. 

"Kerev," Faendall spoke much more softly. "I'm sorry, I thought you were hurt."

Kerev continued to wash his face, humming softly when he felt Faendall's hand on his shoulder. He rubbed what he hoped was a red colored clay out of his nose and leaned back, resting his head in the crook of Faendall's neck. The Bosmer flinched, but didn't stop rubbing his back.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, just breathing in the evening air. Faendall couldn't help but let his eyes wander down to where Kerev was holding, seeing the soon to be scar between the Dunmer's fingers.

"It was Hondil," Kerev breathed out.

Faendall was taken aback, hand stilling. He looked up into Kerev's eyes. He felt a pang in his chest when he realized the Dunmer had tears welling up in them.

"Hondil?" Faendall asked, just above a whisper.

"Hondil." Kerev closed his eyes and wrapped his arm around Faendall. "Hondil's the one who stabbed me."

Faendall was at a loss for words. He struggled to say something, anything, but all that came fourth were single syllables and a mangled word salad. Kerev let him sputter for a bit, collecting himself.

"He was with an Imperial. Rio was his name."

"Imperial?" Faendall started to pull Kerev out of the cold water, fishing in his bag for a blanket.

"They said something about...Harkon?" 

Faendall started to shush Kerev, the battered and exhausted man starting to choke back sobs. Faendall managed to pull the other completely out of the water, wrapping him up. The chill of the wind was quiet, but present. Faendall stayed next to Kerev, unwilling to break apart their embrace for too long.

"He didn't want to do it," Kerev whispered, gripping onto Faendall's shoulders. "Rio made him hurt me."

Faendall nodded and absorbed. He was much more concerned about getting Kerev someplace warm, but he was unwilling to ignore him. He was opening up about trauma, and surely he'd close it all away after this.

"I...I have to save him," Kerev concluded.

"No," Faendall perked up. "No, no, no. He stabbed you, Kerev. Forced or not, he can-"

"You don't understand, I have to save him!" Kerev screamed, sitting straight up and balling his fists up in the Bosmer's tunic.

Faendall could only stare at Kerev, their eyes locked. Kerev looked like a trapped rabid animal, desperate and willing to do anything to escape. The Dunmer's accent was out full force, each breath expelled adding a layer of gravel and hiss to his words.

"He's my Hondil, my Brother! My little baby brother, I smelled fear and ruin on him! We don't have much time, please!"

Faendall swallowed and gripped Kerev's wrists. He felt the muscles throb and tighten, much more than anything he's ever felt before. He mantained eye contact, like one would with a bear.

"Kerev, calm down," He raised his voice, stern. "We can't do anything right now, not when you're like this."

Kerev sucked in heaving breaths, still clinging to Faendall. His vision clouded over with tears that burned away at his eyes. He grit his teeth and slammed his forehead into Faendall's chest, winding the Bosmer. 

Faendall opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it. Sure enough, the woods were overtaken with the pained sobs of the Dunmer. Faendall took a few deep breaths himself, remaining as calm as he could. 

He enveloped Kerev in a firm embrace, allowing the other man to wail his heart out. Faendall rested his cheek atop Kerev's head. He let out a heavy sigh and held on tight.

It was quite a long while before the two were able to make a proper camp.


End file.
